Up and Comers for 2011

Last may, I wrote about my plans for the 2010 racing season. These included a lot of work on the Miata, which I couldn't take on because of limited time and/or money. Let's recap.

Things I did accomplish:

• Completed a welding class. Got a welder for my birthday -- thanks, Mom and Dad!
• Ordered all my LeMons don't-catch-my-ass-on-fire gear.
• Tore down the free Miata engine (pictured above, though it was last weekend, not in 2010).
• All my LeMons-related goals! Engine swap, cage build, wheel/tire fitment, finding enough drivers, getting accepted, and racing! Holy crap, racing!

Things I did not accomplish:

• Race in enough events to be eligible for an autocross trophy.
• Replace Miata suspension bushings.
• Install Flyin' Miata frame rails.
• Rebuild any Miata engine.

LeMons took a lot more research, effort, and straight up wrenching time than I anticipated, and limited what I could do on my street/autocross car.

What's coming up this year?

Complete my first (and perhaps second) engine rebuild ever.

The rusty Miata block is getting an overbore and new OEM pistons, but the bottom end is all in pristine, low-mileage condition. So that's staying as-is. Saves me the effort of Plastigaging all the bearings, and I'll have an OEM-quality bottom end. And that saves time too. I'm already on borrowed time with my timing belt, and I want to swap engines before the belt snaps.

I'm buying a cheap rebuild kit on eBay with standard bearings and rings. I'm initially just using the gasket set. After the first rebuild is done, I'll take my quarter-million-mile engine and give it a complete rebuild with the bearings and rings from the kit, buying just a gasket set and some Plastigage to complete the job.

Give the Miata a few little upgrades.

Namely, those same FM frame rails and perhaps those Energy Suspension bushings I wanted last year. Replace the speedometer cable. Get a new set of tires. Replace a few other small comfort or function items. Deal with the rust on the windshield frame. Fabricate a custom cat-back exhaust. Install new, not-from-a-junkyard speakers. Y'know. Just a few little things.

Race the Team Resignation Escort in one or two LeMons races, and break into the top 10 on laps.

Last year, I led Team Resignation to a Heroic Fix trophy at the Blago 500, and managed 60-somethingth place with 200-some laps despite almost an entire day of down time. We also got some internet and mainstream press coverage and earned a couple accolades. This year I want to keep it on the track and make it into the top 10 when LeMons returns to Autobahn in October. With a little luck, we might also run the July race at Gingerman.

A top 10 finish is ambitious, but top 20 is definitely within reach. The car will need more camber (as part of a real alignment), better exhaust, better springs, and a better engine computer, and a complete wiring harness that hasn't been hacked to pieces. All these things have either been purchased or are coming soon. We'll also need to seriously work on cutting down pitting, fueling, and driver-change times. Giving everyone specific jobs for each stop and practicing it all will be part of that, as will arriving at the track on Thursday to get a good pit spot.

And, of course, we'll need to not have catastrophic failures. To prepare for that eventuality, I want to...

Strip the parts donor and prepare a spare Escort drivetrain.

My old commuter car is still sitting in my parents' driveway, with the LeMon's blown engine in the trunk and its original transmission zip-tied in the engine bay (you read that right). I'm getting a spare engine and rebuilding that transmission (it needs a new shift fork), and mating them up. I want to have a complete drivetrain ready to swap in if anything goes bad, so we can get back on the track in (kind of) a hurry.

We're also stripping any usable parts off that ZX2 to keep as spares. Wheel bearings, brake rotors, and steering rack, primarily. And selling off the rest to offset some of the costs of racing.

Autocross?

Racing autocross events this year will primarily be to shake down the Escort and test suspension settings. I'm not renewing my SCCA membership this year because it's too expensive and I don't have the time to devote to it. Besides, the frame rail reinforcements aren't legal in STS class, and the SCCA is too serious and not-fun anyway. Which means there'll be an ugly, rusty, Contact-papered Escort running the cones with a bunch of Miatas. It'll be great. I'll run the Miata when I have time.

This is going to be one big damn year.

I'm pumped!

Update:
Oh yeah, the Supra.
My brother-in-law reminded me in the comments that he's got a Supra that's been sitting for a couple years. I agreed to toy around with it and see if I could troubleshoot its hot start issues.

I suppose it's more apt to say "I convinced him to let me do pretty much what I want with it while he's gone." And I have not lived up to my promise, since it's still sitting at his parents' place untouched. Oof. This is gonna be a big year indeed.

A eulogy.

And so it goes. I tapped the rocker panel with my foot as I left work last Thursday. Really, it was a light tap. And the tip of my shoe busted it in, because it was nothing but paint. I suppose it's just as well. When it happened Thursday, I snapped this photo with the expectation of making a humorous post about it here. Instead, it has become bittersweet.

I'll spare you the details; Eric will be posting soon on the Team Resignation blog about how it all went down. Suffice it to say that the race car's engine blew up, and swapping in the one from my ZX2 was the only viable option to keep us on the track.

So that's what we did.

Which makes it pretty official. After roughly a hundred thousand miles across six and a half years of service in my hands, my daily driver is dead. Its 210-thousand-mile engine lives on in the race car, and soon too will its wiring harness and perhaps front control arms. Which gives it a status not unlike an organ donor (except, you know, less important).

Little car, you have served me well. I'm sad you're gone, but your final days weren't exactly your best.

• You had an evap system leak I refused to fix. I had pulled those vacuum hoses and plugged the intake manifold with electrical tape. This also meant the HVAC fan would only blow at the windshield.
• You had a loud clunk from the front suspension which I'm pretty sure was broken sway bar links, but never put in the effort to check.
• You had been backed into a faucet and your rear bumper was screwed back into place. A week later, the mirror got busted off on the corner of the same house and was reattached with the same screws as the bumper.
• Your exhaust was beginning to leak, making you noisier by the week.
• Your third gear hadn't been working for several years.
• Your shifter bushings were completely shot, and the shifter buzzed loudly at nearly all times.
• Your rear defroster never worked.
• You had bald tires on ugly Escort GT fan-blade wheels.
• Your rear speakers would crackle at the mere suggestion of bass.
• I planned to never wash you again.

But despite all this, you unfailingly, albeit noisily, carried me to work. Took Amanda and I on a camping trip to Michigan. Were flung over a set of railroad tracks daily at 70 mph so I could get sweet air. And so on, and so on.

Goodbye, dependable commuter car. I have no choice now but to keep what I need and part out what I don't. It's not an elegant death, true. But I hope your heart lasts long enough to propel us into the top ten next year. You can do it. You've survived worse.

Slutting it up

If you read me here but don't follow the Team Resignation blog, you should head over there right now. There's something very special waiting for you; Eric and I are whoring ourselves across all the media we have access to.

So, go there. Get your fill of details of how to join in on the inevitable fiery death fun!

The definition of badass

This is the cheapest combo pack of approved fire-safety apparel available through the LeMons store. That's right, I'm cheap even when it means I could start on fire.

I think I'm trying to do a muscle pose, but as usually happens when I try to look manly, I do it wrong. Somehow "muscle pose" became "walk like a retarded Egyptian." Maybe the heat (the outfit is very warm) and the excitement of getting stuff in the mail were acting on my brain.


All my regretful expenditures racing supplies arrived on Saturday. They saved on shipping by stuffing the fireproof long johns, racing harness and gloves inside the helmet. That was weird, but efficient.


The harness is blue, and so will match the epically uncomfortable Kirkey aluminum racing seat. My suit, all black except for gloves and neck brace, fits fine but is far from flattering. I was hoping red-with-black-accents would look badass. It does not. It will, however, keep me from starting on fire. So that's a nice perk.

Team Resignation

Updates about the 24 Hours of LeMons car, the 1991 Ford Escort LZX2 (ZLX2?), will now mostly be on the Team Resignation blog. Head over there to see the latest.

My dad is a clever bastard.

As you can see here, the valve cover on our Zetec engine was busted into pieces. One of these pieces fell behind the cams and got itself into an oil return galley. We tried reaching in for it with tweezers, but they couldn't reach and still open enough to grab it. Removing the cams and lifters would have been really annoying and would not have made things any easier, since it was actually buried in the middle of the head casting.

My dad, always with the clever ideas, grabs a small metal rod he has laying around. Then he gets some glue (in this case, a silicone-based general adhesive) and plops a dab on one end. He then puts that end against the chunk of valve cover buried in the head and lets it sit awhile.

About 20 minutes later, I come back and carefully pull the rod up. The adhesive holds, though barely, and I manage to just get it out of the head before the glue lets go and it drops into my hand.

A few more minor repairs and this engine is ready to drop in. The only parts left: swap some pulleys around, find a serpentine belt that's the right size to bypass power steering and A/C, and repair/replace the thermostat housing. I think that's everything, anyway...

One step above the bleachers

I picked up a Kirkey Racing aluminum seat with a cover and a neck brace a few weeks ago. This is gonna go on the Team Resignation Escort. I found it on Craigslist. It's a 17-incher, so it's a bit wide for me and all our current drivers. But it was cheap, it was local, and we can always add padding. Besides, we won't have to buy a different seat if a fatter driver joins the team.

Up and comers

This is going to be a big summer all around. Here's a breakdown of the upcoming projects, obligations and goals.

General/Personal
I'm enrolled in a  welding class 2 days a week for the summer term at Kish. It starts at 6, which means I need to be strict about getting to work on time so I can make it to class those evenings. Maybe I'll get a welder for my birthday.

There's plenty of autocross coming up. My goal this year is to attend enough events to at least be eligible to trophy either with the Windy City Miata Club or Chicago Region SCCA. Since there's conflicting days in the schedules of the two clubs, and some events land on days like Father's Day (I already skipped the Mother's Day event to work on the Escort), that could make it difficult. I have to figure out the minimum for each club and mark down which events I have to attend.

I need to order my racing suit, shoes and helmet.

STS Mazda Miata
About a month ago I picked up a 1.6L long nose short block and transmission for free. Yes, free. The block (sans head, hence "short") hadn't been used in about 10 years and braved the elements last winter. I have no idea what shape it's in inside, but the piston tops and cylinder walls are fairly rusty. I'm spraying the release agent of the gods on it regularly free it up.
    The plan is to tear this engine down and see if it's rebuildable with a simple hone. This will be my first engine rebuild, so even if this block is fucked, I will practice on it so I know what I'm getting into when I rebuild the engine that's in my car right now. (At 220+k miles, it's burning a quart of oil every 600-800 miles. Symptoms suggest worn rod journal bearings.) My friend Duncan is going to lend me a head so I can complete a rebuild beforehand and swap engines in a weekend; when it's done, I'll give him my old head for his future projects.

If I get the time and/or money, I hope to replace all the suspension bushings with a set of urethane ones and buy some Flyin' Miata frame rail reinforcements. The high-speed shimmy/vibration is driving me nuts, and I think these two things are the solution. I'm sure all my suspension bushings are completely shot.

LeMons Escort ZLX2 
That's ZL TIMES TWO, bitches!
Tomorrow, I pick up a used Kirkey economy layback racing seat and a neck brace for the race.
Obviously, the engine swap needs to be completed. The wiring harness needs to be pulled from the ZX2 and installed in the LX. The steering needs to be depowered, the belts rerouted, the thermostat housing replaced. Hopefully all this can be done in time to get it to several autocross events before the actual race.

I need to mount my Miata's autocross wheels and see if it interferes with the rear struts. Reports on TeamZX2 indicate that 205/50-15 tires may rub against the strut when mounted to the stock wheels; aftermarket wheels are usually OK. Possible solutions are: using narrower tires, buying wheel spacers, buying aftermarket wheels, using the 14" wheels with necessarily narrower tires, or denting the strut tube in a bit. All these are real possibilities with their own tradeoffs.

Then, of course, all the nastyness of stripping the interior, having a roll cage fabricated, buying and installing all the necessary safety equipment, finding a 4th person to commit to the team, et cetera et cetera.

******

That's a busy, expensive summer. The Escort has priority; it needs to be done by October. The Miata engine rebuild will more likely be a project for the fall/winter months.

Gotta keep my fingers crossed that Amanda won't kill me.

24 Hours of LeMons: American Irony

First, let me say that Eric already covered a lot of our trip to this race. Read his recaps. I'll wait.

Done? Let's continue.

The trip was great fun, and the race was excellent to watch. It's gotten me even more excited (and probably unbearable to live with) about competing in this race for crapcans.

This is one of the penalties that are handed out. I can't remember what the chicken is for, but there are a number of different things that the Arc Angel (for that is her name, and yes, she's a she) will weld to your car. This particular sample is a BMW E30 with a roof that is almost completely Bondo. You could smell that shit burning as the Angel welded this chicken on.

Another penalty is the humping bunnies (as seen on one of my favorite cars, the Woodstock Monte Carlo Grand Prix.). I don't know what it's for, but I'd much rather have that than the chicken.

Still another penalty, as seen on this Rabbit/GTI (with the Lebowski Neon in the background) is writing your folly over and over on your car, a la grade school. (finding that link resulted in some porn, FYI)

You get these penalties from doing this kind of thing:

Note the ridiculous lean on that Audi in the first shot.

If your car breaks down, things can get even more exciting. You can turn your Fiero from a raging 4-cylinder into a parts-spewing hunk of iron. Case in point, the Heroic Fix winners who, after a spun connecting rod bearing, pulled two pistons out.

They later pulled out another, turning it into a smoke-belching 625cc one-cylinder before it finally stopped altogether. For these kinds of accomplishments, you can win one of many awesome trophies.

Hand made with love. Welcome to America.

Always with the surprises

This is what happens when you start prepping a 19-year-old car for racing. You find holes in the floor.

Background, because I feel it is always necessary: (It probably rarely is.)
I tore up the carpet on our racecar on my lunch break. A 14mm socket, a screwdriver, and a bit of really boring lunchtime NPR is all it took. I removed the front seats (socket), popped off the retaining clips for the carpet under the edge of the rear seat (screwdriver), removed the center console (screwdriver), and started yanking that shit around the pieces that were still screwed down. Vehicle carpeting is neither plush nor resilient against tearing. In fact, the pattern of the supporting thread is a lot like vinyl reinforced adhesive tape, so I could tear it into big chunks with my hands.

Never mind how unbelievably filthy that car is (I forgot to photograph the crayons and toy cars, and the smell, while unphotographable, is pervasive). I found two surprises under the carpeting. Rust holes in the floor pan. Right about where the forward roll cage supports will need to go. This is not good news.

Hopefully we can roll the cost of repairing that into the cost of installing the cage. I figure if whoever is building us a cage can't fix that and make it safe, they shouldn't be building us a cage. I guess we'll find out.

Behold, failure!

Last Saturday, my friend Brad came over to help finish the brakes on El Shitbox. Since the caliper mounting bolt was seized in place, I asked him to bust out the Sawzall and cut the fucker in half.

Then, when the caliper still wouldn't come off, I realized the caliper mounts to a bracket, which is removable. Two 14-mm bolts later, and the caliper-and-bracket assembly is off.

But then the caliper wouldn't come off the bracket, which is necessary to mount the new caliper. So I asked Brad to bust out his MAPP gas torch. He's a plumber.

We proceeded to heat, wiggle, and hammer that thing to separate the caliper from the slide/guide bolt on the bracket. At which point, this happened:

Which is about when I realized I had a complete new bracket sitting upstairs. So I grabbed that, grabbed the new caliper, and put that shit together.

Steps necessary to complete job:
1. Remove caliper and bracket assembly.
2. Install new caliper bracket.
3. Install new caliper.

Actual steps taken:
1. Cut caliper.
2. Remove caliper and bracket assembly.
3. Lubricate, wiggle, torch, and hammer caliper guide bolt until something breaks.
4. Install new caliper bracket.
5. Install new caliper.

I am a genius.

** VERY DIRTY!!! **

I've done a lot of heavy wrenching in my black Carhartt coat over the years, in various locations and with varying degrees of cleanliness and success. I've had it since late in my high school years, and I don't think I've ever cleaned it. After these last couple weekends under two very rusty cars, one of which was out on a gravel-and-snow driveway, and getting covered in even more dirt, rust, grime, and brake fluid, I decided it needed a thorough cleaning.

A professional cleaning. So I had Amanda take it in when she was getting a zipper fixed on her coat. Amanda said they told her, "I think we'll need an extra day on this one" when she dropped it off. You can see above the note they put after the coat.

Very dirty indeed, with three exclamation points.

Well, it was true. I wish I had a photo of it in its full filthy glory. All I have is of it clean, and they did an amazing job.  Green Acre Cleaners is a pretty excellent place.

I haven't seen the coat this black practically since I bought it, though there are plenty of worn spots in the denim by now. After all, high school ended 8 years ago; this thing is probably about the same age as my old Caterpillar boots. Anyway, I'm happy it's clean now, though the season for this heavy a coat is practically over. It's fresh and ready for next year, and it no longer smells like earth and grease and sweat. It's ready for another 10+ years of service.

Well, maybe not quite that many.

Another 9-hour round of cussin' and knuckle-bustin'

(Amanda tells me we're both stubby nerds. It might be true.)

Ah, the fruits of our labor! At least, the first 3-hour stint. These Saturday projects seem to be forming a pattern. The pattern is: We start taking things apart. A few things break, but in general progress is good. We move on to the donor car, and maybe run into a few more snags, but again, we're not deterred. We take a break, then continue, everything goes to shit, and what we thought would take maybe another two hours ends up taking six. At the end of the night the car is back together, but perhaps barely drivable. Usually the final problem has to do with brakes.

I have a problem, as Eric points out, of misunderestimating the scope, difficulty, and time involved in car-related projects (click the link to Eric's blog; you will not be disappointed). The goal last weekend was to drop the rear subframe from both cars, and bolt the donor (ZX2) subframe onto the racer (LX, subframe pictured above). Not only was my grasp of the simplicity of this project on two cars that combined are about 31 years old vastly incorrect, we made some excellent discoveries on the way.

This is how awesome one of our rear strut towers is. You don't have to be a trained anything to know that if your car looks like it has syphilitic diarrhea leprosy, that's probably a bad thing. Notice the burns on the seat! Of course, the problem is not isolated to the passenger side.

There's your driver-side strut tower. My dad's repair idea involves not welding, but having someone cut a thick steel plate (with proper holes in it) to place between the strut hat and the tower, to spread the load to outside the rusted area. It would increase ride height by however thick it is, but that's probably not a very big deal -- assuming the tech/safety inspectors don't give us a hard time over it. I worry, often needlessly.

These old Escorts had a propensity for breaking rear springs. This example is no exception.

Into three pieces. Notice also the strut hat for that side (which fell on the floor).

Practically disintegrated, and virtually useless at this point. Where's the rest of it? Here:

(Note the emergency brake cable, which has lost a battle with Captain Hacksaw.)

Good thing we're swapping the entire rear subframe from the ZX2, for its springs, struts and disk brakes. I'd like to say the donor is less rusty. And it is. In parts. Notably the strut hat.

Unfortunately, the brakes again became a problem. Not only are the lines horrifically rusted from the master cylinder all the way back to the wheels, but the bleeder screws on those rear calipers snapped clean off instead of loosening properly. We replaced one caliper with a spare I had sitting around (don't ask), but the other side wouldn't come off. 

We rounded off the mounting bolt, which means we have four options:

Option 1: Get a whole new spindle to mount the caliper on. I don't want to get into how much of a pain in the ass (and expensive) this is.

Options 2, 3, and 4 condensed into one: Take either (2) a Sawzall, (3) a sledgehammer, or (4) a torch and cut/smash/melt the thing into two pieces and slide the caliper off. Then we can forcibly remove the mounting bolt with a drill, and use one of my many spare mounting bolts to attach the replacement caliper.

Obviously, we're going with one of the three latter options. Right now we've got one rear caliper that's been bled (poorly) and one that has nothing but air in it. The pedal goes to the floor every time, and requires several pumps before any kind of slowing down happens. And even then, it happens poorly.

I got a pair of used Miata calipers, which will bolt on but also feature a 32mm piston diameter (versus the Escort GT-sourced rears' 30mm). This should give us a bit more rearward brake bias, which will likely help get better, more even braking on race day. Evener braking means evener betterer lap times. I'm sure the brake proportioning is originally set up very conservative, so it's unlikely we're treading dangerous territory here.

Those calipers will go on in a few weeks. This weekend, rent is due, and I'm also spending time with my baby. I mean the Miata. Don't kill me, Amanda. I still love you too.

More details and photos to come, eventually. Stay tuned here and at assonancerood.blogspot.com for all your hot Escort-on-Escort action.

(Want a few more detail photos from that day? Click here.)

Weekend racecar prep Number 1

These are my 10-year-old Caterpillar boots. They've seen a lot of abuse, including a weekend photographing an NIU ROTC trip for the Northern Star (which, since its redesign, is one "Under Construction" GIF away from 1997), among other less taxing camping trips, junkyard treks and work excursions. This pair finally bit the dust on Saturday the 13th, and I promptly replaced them with another pair. Hopefully these will last another 10 years.

The job that did it was swapping suspensions on the new Ford Escort diarrhea bucket of an automobile. That's right, I officially have an unofficial LeMons/ChumpCar racer! It'll be a 2nd-gen Escort LX/3rd gen ZX2 Franken'Scort. (Theme and actual car/team name TBD.)

Eric, my only willing co-conspirator and co-money pit feeder at this time wrote up a good bit of detail on it. It's worth every second of your time to read, because he is a hilarious and insane man. This most recent Saturday, we (almost) completed that job by doing the rear suspension. Details on that are coming, as soon as I get my photos back from my dad's camera.