The Sentimental Mechanic

Super Porsche Man!

2011-12-29T14:52:00.001-06:00

...flies in to tweak his carburetor!

Really though, he's pointing to something in his engine bay for the other guy standing nearby. I was taking a few photos from this angle, and the car's owner leaned in. This is exactly how the photo came out of the camera. No cropping. This particular car—a 1965 Porsche 356C—will be featured in comparison with a Chevrolet Corvair Monza Spyder (a CMS project car) in the upcoming issue of Classic Motorsports. I shot most of the photos that end up in the story.

On automotive Luddites

2011-12-07T22:02:00.000-06:00

From the April 1968 issue of Road & Track.

Installing cruise control in a throttle-by-wire Toyota

2011-11-30T22:50:00.000-06:00

Everyone remembers the uproar over electronic throttles in Toyotas. Everything from floor mats to pedal assemblies to space particles could be causing unintended acceleration. Admittedly, the last bit might just have been the NASA scientists getting bored and trying to find the problem in every last possible place. They did get into the field because they dig space stuff, after all.

At the root of the problem, it turns out, was a lot of fat, stupid feet continuously mashing on the gas pedal instead of the brake. The fact that there's no mechanical cable directly connecting the gas pedal to the throttle body had nothing to do with it, though it did give plenty of automotive Luddites a chance to bitch about technology.

Fact is, drive-by-wire throttles are handy from an engineering standpoint--no need to worry about getting the cable to reach or to work right in a certain orientation, for one. They're also handy in that some cars that don't come with cruise control can be easily retrofitted at minimal cost. Yes, I've finally reached my point.

With Zoe's 2010 Yaris, there's no computer modules to add. No expensive vacuum diaphragms or OEM switches. A trip to Radio Shack, a little time with a screwdriver, soldering iron, drill, and wire splices, and you're good to go. I'll spare you the details of the install; kind enthusiasts figured out how to do this, and posted the information online. That's how I did it. Here's the step-by-step:

http://www.yarisworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17158

More and more cars today are throttle-by-wire, so it stands to reason that methods similar to this are possible on a lot of newer cars.

I popped off a plastic panel on the dashboard and drilled holes for these switches. After soldering in the appropriate resistor--a 660 ohm one, I think--and extra wiring, it went back into the dash. I didn't photograph it with the stuff soldered up because it's, well, not my finest work. I can solder strong, but it's not necessarily pretty.

There they are. Both are momentary pushbutton switches. Zoe calls them spaceship switches. Sometime soon they'll get labels. The top one will be Warp Drive; the bottom, Shields.

The actual in-car wiring was way easy, with just two wires to splice into.

How can you run cruise control with just two buttons? Well, it's limited in features. The top button toggles the cruise on and off (illuminating the green indicator in the top picture); the bottom one sets the speed and decelerates the car. You can wire in four switches to get full functionality, but two looks nicer and it does the job.

And it works! For less than $10 at Radio Shack, this car has cruise control. Another option for this particular car is just to install the OEM cruise control switch and cut a hole in the steering column cover for it to stick out of, but the swict--a stalk not unlike the turn signal one--is still a little pricey at about eighty bucks.

Why the Fiat 500 will do well (a long ramble)

2011-10-31T22:57:00.004-05:00

A hip lady-friend of mine recently blogged about the Fiat 500. She said:

"I have never really been a car person. My dad picked out both of the cars I’ve driven, and they’ve been good cars in the sense that they get me from point A to point B without any scarring or wreckage.

But then I saw this little thing. I want that car. This is the first time in my life I’ve written that down. I want that car. It’s so wee!"

We at the Grassroots Motorsports office have been waiting for one to come through the press fleet. We saw a white one in the parking lot at the office a month or two back, and EVERYONE was talking about it. "Is that our press car?" "It's a stickshift!" "Where did it come from?" "I love the interior." We all fought over who would drive it first. We've been waiting for one to come through the press fleet for some time.

We later found out that it belonged to the meter reader lady from the electric company. It was her personal ride. We all gave her props for driving a stickshift, she enthusiastically proclaimed her love for it, and left.

One showed up at an autocross this summer. It wasn't there to compete; someone just drove it to the event. There were at nearly all times at least four guys gathered around the thing. When the owner was near it, a bigger crowd gathered to ask questions.

All this for a kind of slow, technologically unremarkable, somewhat expensive subcompact car. Why such a fuss?

It is incredibly cute. Sure, your average Camaro shopper wouldn't be caught dead in one, but I'm sure the reverse is also true. But that's less the point, so much as its whimsy. It's fun just to look at. It makes people smile, stop, and have a closer look. The Mini Cooper and New Beetle did these things, but I hesitate to say that they did it so universally.

I thought at first that it was too expensive. It starts at the same price as the Ford Fiesta ($15,500), a considerably larger car. But, while the Fiesta might be more practical to own and perhaps are more capable as a performance car, its fun really only kicks in once you're whipping it around corners and really making use of its delightful chassis.

With a car like this, the whimsy, the thrill, the joy, comes from the minute you sit in it. You get into it, smile, and ask, "So, what can you do?" The same thing happened with my sister when she bought her (also smaller than a Fiesta but 30% more costly) Mini Cooper several years ago. She wasn't a car person, but she became an enthusiastic driver. She learned to live with its small cargo space. She'd tell stories of playing cat-and-mouse through traffic with other Mini drivers. It also helped that she got a stickshift, I think, but part of it had to be that the car made its existence clear to its owners.

Not many cars do that, or have ever done that terribly often. Even if something is fun to drive, a cheap car will rarely actually say hello. It'll have the same speedometer you see in every other car in the world; the switchgear will look the same; it'll all be in that familiar industrial-plastic black.

Guys are fascinated. Gals think it's adorable. If this car is half as fun to drive as it is to look at (foreign reviews indicate as much), it'll sell as many as Fiat can make. It might even help get more kids interested in cars and driving who previously just thought of it as an expensive mode of transport. I only hope the take rate on stickshifts is high.

Racing Beat knockoff header

2011-09-24T00:23:00.002-05:00

I've learned something from my foray into the bottom-of-the-barrel cheap parts: There are two levels of shitty.

Level One: Low price, good build quality, but materials that aren't the most durable perhaps because of lower quality.
Level Zero: Lowest price, terrible build quality, horrendous materials.

My recent reviews of Raceland's header put them squarely into Level One. Their header is well built, looks good out of the box and is well supported. They also have a real company/brand name to uphold, as evidenced by their stickers and catalog included in the order. Their downfall is that their steel isn't pure/robust enough to stand up to the harshest commutes through aggressively salted Chicago interstates. I'm confident that someone living in, say Florida, would be perfectly happy with their product.

This one, on the other hand, is simply not worth a purchase. I don't mean to single out SpeedyRacer--an eBay seller--as there are multiple people peddling this shoddy product. It's the only header that imitates the Racing Beat with a 4-1 design (all the others imitate the 4-2-1 or Tri-Y design of the Jackson Racing); since the Racing Beat is reportedly the best off-the-shelf header out there, it's truly unfortunate that the only imitation is so incredibly awful.

See for yourself in the slideshow. The welds are so awful, I'm surprised I didn't find welding rod sticking out of them. I wonder if they're even airtight. I saw one car with this header at SCCA Solo Nationals (STS class), and wasn't surprised to find it was rusting just like my Raceland unit--though that particular car certainly didn't see the heavy winter commuting duty that mine did.

The final straw--and this really killed me, because I was nearing the end of my engine swap at the time, filled with exhaustion, frustration at already too many broken surprises, and anxious to hit the road--was that it just didn't fit. It hit the flat horizontal part of the body below the brake and clutch master cylinders. I was so goddamn angry when I couldn't get the piece of cockblasting assnugget* to fit that I literally bounced it off the fucking concrete floor and across the garage.

Since I've seen this header fit on other cars and it's gotten some positive eBay responses, I can conclusively say their quality control department and the jig they use to build this header are both not very consistent. And, judging by the fact that a magnet will stick to certain parts of it--most notably the bends, as demonstrated in the slideshow--they clearly use ultra-low quality stainless steel too.

By "they," of course, I mean whoever makes this piece of garbage, not Speedyracer or any other eBay vendor--though they are responsible for selling a shit product. Much to that vendor's credit, they did take a return on the header even though it was past the 30-day return period. So thank you, Speedyracer, for not totally screwing me.

There you have it, friends: real buying advice. Don't buy the absolute cheapest garbage. Pay a little extra instead. I'd buy the Raceland header again. You couldn't pay me to use this one--which is just as well, since it seems to no longer be available on eBay.

*I'm a classy guy.

Chugga chugga Miata speedometer

2011-08-20T21:07:00.004-05:00

My Miata's speedometer used to do this. My good friend Eric described the sound as akin to a choo-choo train. My memory is fuzzy, so I'm going to pretend he used those exact words. He's a grown-ass man. I tried replacing the speedometer head before, but that didn't help.

As part of the engine rebuild, I replaced many (many!!) parts. One of them was the speedometer cable, which is easier to replace than I expected. Problem solved! I lived with that annoyance for way too long considering how simple the fix was. With a little dexterity, flexibility and profanity, I was able to replace the cable without removing the instrument cluster.

Wear your safety equipment, kids.

2011-08-05T14:56:00.001-05:00

This video is horrifying. Not for weak stomachs.

Killed Myself When I Was Young from The Jalopy Journal on Vimeo.

Via Devour.com. Found on the 24 Hours of LeMons forum.

GRM Blog: Crank pulleys can indeed fail

2011-08-03T16:05:00.001-05:00

I made a new blog post on the Grassroots Motorsports website. I'm not crazy about the interface and workarounds we have to do to make photo embedding work, but those are things that will hopefully be addressed in the forthcoming redesign. Take a visit.

http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/staff/AlanCesar/crank-pulleys-can-indeed-fail/

A post-wash return to Artsy Fartsy Sentiment

2011-07-13T22:58:00.001-05:00

High-contrast black and white accents the imperfections. I'm proud that it's a beater.

This week I washed my Miata for the first time in many, many (many!!) months. It's still not very clean: I need to buy a better scrub sponge to get most of the bug residue off it before I can give it a good waxing -- which is also severely overdue. I miss Farm & Fleet; car cleaning products seem much pricier at Advance Auto Parts, and in much smaller variety.

Visible Flyin' Miata frame rails. Hot colors and saturation!

This car has been filthy for a very long time. With the crazy long commute I used to have, deep cleanings only made the car look nice for a couple days. I've also been so incredibly busy ever since the engine rebuild and subsequent cross-country move to Florida that I haven't had a chance to do anything but rinse the ocean's salt spray off of it once. The greasy handprints all over it from my pre-move engine rebuild stayed on, and now seem to be a semi-permanent fixture.

These Konig Britelite wheels look so much nicer when they're clean. Toyo R1-Rs are grippy as shit, but getting balder by the day. Anyone want to give me a set of 205/50-15 tires for free?

The wheels actually took longer to clean than the rest of the car, and they're not perfect either. From aggressive brake pads and a lot of neglect, brake dust and rotor shavings accumulated on the wheel lips and rusted, making them look super gross. It took a lot of A2Z wheel cleaner and a couple Scotch-Brite heavy duty sponges to get them to where they are, though there's still some tough residual brake-dust-rust buildup. (I am not paid for these plugs. Those 3M sponges have served me well from cleaning dishes to removing cylinder head gaskets, but I'm not certain the wheel cleaner is any better than others. Does work pretty well though.)

The suspension looks saggy on the right. I'll have to check for broken springs again. It's only been 2 months since I bought this replacement set from Flyin' Miata. Bummer. I hope this doesn't mean I have a bent frame.

Regardless, its current cleanliness could be considered impeccable compared to its previous state, so I decided to take some pictures. And like any good former-photography-major, I figured it was time to be all artsy again for once. Crouching and bracing myself against myself to take long-exposure hand-held shots brought back memories of my film days. As did tweaking color, saturation and contrast levels in Photardshop.

Shelby GT350 - Classic Motorsports

2011-07-07T15:12:00.002-05:00

The publisher's most recent purchase and forthcoming Classic Motorsports project car is a particularly un-pristine Shelby GT350. This thing is amazing. Click on the slideshow to go to the full-size gallery, where you can see all the dirty details in their cell phone-quality glory. I love everything about this car, but I most especially love how it's aged. I'm not sure where he picked it up or what the exact plans are for it, but hot damn is it awesome. And yes, it's real. I think it's a '67.

Keep watch at ClassicMotorsports.net for details as they arrive. Go there and buy a subscription to pad my paycheck.

Update: It's officially official.

Piston (im)Plants

2011-07-04T17:09:00.000-05:00

Pistons make cool tiny planters! Details at my GRM staff blog:

http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/staff/AlanCesar/plantroots-motor-crafts/

Engine rebuild and swap

2011-07-04T16:54:00.005-05:00

Used bearings and connecting rods paired to new 0.50mm oversize Mazda pistons and Rock Products rings.

This is an overdue update. Sometime last year I scored a free engine block and transmission for my Miata. The block sat outside for a winter sans cylinder head, so the bores exposed to the elements got super rusty. It needed an overbore to be clean, and new pistons to match. The rotating assembly and bearings were in good shape though; merely broken in with (allegedly) 60,000 miles. I ordered OEM pistons from Mazdaspeed, in half-millimeter oversize (twenty thousandths of an inch to you domestic types). That's also the service limit, which is legal in SCCA autocross, and nets me a whole 25cc of extra displacement. That's about a moped's worth of extra powaaaaaaaaaaaah.

I sat on this project, waiting for an opportune time to finish it. My recent career change made the decision for me however: I needed this car tip-top for a 1200-mile drive to Motorsport Marketing in Florida.

There was a broken-off motor mount bolt in the "new" block, and I didn't want to go to the trouble and time commitment to fix it myself; when I found that one, I had little time to do way too much. So I took it to a local machine shop. Sixty dollars and a few hours later, I had fresh threads on a mountable block. I've never been so glad to pay someone else to do something for me. Even the guys at the shop described that bolt as "a real bear to get out."

This explains why it kept getting tougher and tougher to slip a floor jack under the car.

One of my unpleasant discoveries while I had the car apart: Broken springs. This is a Flyin' Miata set, and I'm its third owner. Though they didn't give me a whole set for free, Flyin' Miata was kind enough to knock $75 off the sticker price on a replacement set of springs. Which covered just a bit more than the expedited shipping for the set. The woman I spoke to on the phone also personally passed the order off to the shipping department to get the order out the door that very day. Though their products are sometimes on the pricey side, I have to admit: Flyin' Miata has excellent customer service. I've always been happy to call them.

Four springs? Pfft. What kind of lame Miata are you driving? This one has twelve!

Some of the other broken parts I discovered included bad U-joints in the driveshaft and a broken pair of motor mounts. After some serious troubles with bad aftermarket motor mounts (new ones were broken or had under-rated bolts which broke upon torquing to spec), I opted to get used OEM mounts from the same guy I got my driveshaft from. Thanks, BTDT Racing, for being reasonably local to me. It was still a 3-hour round trip, but I got the parts I needed to get back on the road. (Note: I did not get discounts for any of these endorsements.)

I never realized just how long the header is in relation to the car until I saw it like this.

I know that header looks like it's seen better days; the Raceland stainless header just doesn't handle Chicago road salt all that well. But the SpeedyRacer header I bought to replace it just didn't work, and I had no other option. Besides, though it's in ugly shape, it's still holding together and doing the job.

A bare long block is a lot smaller than a fully dressed engine.

I always thought it was funny how race cars have one tiny belt to drive its two accessories, but this shot made me realize that I've got the same thing going on. Air conditioning and power steering deleted, my car has just an alternator and water pump driven by belt.

On the right is the fresh long block with used bearings and new pistons and rings. Not having a usable cylinder head, the head work had to wait until the old engine was out. Here's a surprise: head work takes a goddamned long time. My dad and I spent at least six hours replacing sixteen valve stem seals and lapping sixteen valves from the old engine.

Another noteworthy discovery: you can't compress the valve springs with the head in the car. Don't be tempted by those valve spring compressors on the shelves at NAPA. Unless it's like a giant C-clamp, it won't work -- and yes, you do have to take the cylinder head off to do this job. My dad and mine's solution involved exactly that: a big C-clamp. He cut a window into the side of a big spark plug socket. That socket went against the valve spring, and I'd remove the spring keepers by reaching through that window with a telescoping magnet. Reinstalling the keepers involved tweezers, and grease to keep them in place. It worked very well.

In the same vein as my recent discovery of its underhood cupholders, a properly equipped Miata also has its own desk on which you can keep your workshop manual. Mine is the digital version, so I kept the laptop there. The hood sits perfectly on the luggage rack with the leading edge resting on the seat headrests. With the notches for the pop-up headlights, it even fits between the roll bar supports. Eat that, NB owners!

The used bearings in my free engine block Plasti-gauged within spec, so I was happy to keep them.

I should note: the overbore wasn't quite enough to take care of the pitting on the cylinder walls from the rusted bores. So there's still a little there on one or two cylinders. This might explain why the car still burns a little oil now. Or maybe the 500-mile break-in wasn't long enough. But despite the really cheap Eristic gasket set I bought on eBay, I have no oil leaks whatsoever. All the gaskets in that set appeared of good quality, and the set was complete -- though it did include several extra pieces, presumably for different variants of the Mazda B6 engine.

This was my first shot at an engine rebuild, and though it cost more than a used engine, I'm happy to say the experience was priceless. I had the skills to replace an engine before I took on this project, so I wouldn't have learned much if I just swapped in one that was already done. It was an adventure, a learning opportunity, and a chance to bond with my dad for a week. I wouldn't give all that up no matter how much easier the job could've been. I've always wanted to take an engine completely apart, and am pleasantly surprised at how simple it is. It's still running great a couple thousand miles later. And I got to cross an item off my list. I'm satisfied.

Breakin' the Law

2011-06-18T13:43:00.001-05:00

Smashy smashy!

Part of my preparation for the long-ass trip to Florida was to stiffen up my car for the excessive load it would carry. That meant I'd install Flyin' Miata's frame rail reinforcements, to hopefully undo the damage I've done to the stock frame rails, pictured. It turns out they're not intended to be jacking points. I was hoping the FM rails would also cure my notorious Miata shimmy. (It did not.)

The install itself was pretty straightforward and didn't take a whole lot of time. I spent a bit more than half an hour with a hammer pounding the old rails approximately into shape. My dad showed up to help, so he sprayed the holes with undercoating from inside the car while I drilled from underneath.

It's tough to get undercoating off your face. Ask how I know.

Tip: Make sure your face isn't on the other side of an aerosol can.

It does make a difference.

After putting everything back together, the difference is immediately noticeable. Well, it was on crappy Illinois roads. It's not perfect -- it didn't go from a floppy NA to an S2000 -- but I'd call it much improved, not a gimmick product. I don't know how it affects lap times, but I will say that I hope no one at the autocross course notices. This is definitely not an SCCA-legal modification, but I'm going to keep running in the same class as before. That's right, I'm a rebel. Breakin' the (inconsequential) law.

GRM Blog: Dino-era steering wheel

2011-06-17T16:20:00.003-05:00

New post up on the GRM staff blog regarding my sweet new wheel.
http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/staff/AlanCesar/retro-fabulous/

Tracking and repairing a coolant leak

2011-06-09T18:00:00.044-05:00

Miata nerds will know all about the water plug on the back of the cylinder head, and how difficult it allegedly is to reach. Follow this link and scroll on down to the Troubleshooting section; you'll see what I mean.

I saw that cap when I rebuilt my engine, but decided to leave it alone. Because I was lazy, and because I already had enough to do. Running to the parts store to replace something that wasn't broken when I already had enough problems to deal with, well, that was a low priority.

Once I reached Florida, however, it decided to finally break and leak. I noticed when the coolant temperature started to creep up, and water would leak from somewhere at the back of the engine when I refilled the radiator. When I discovered the source of the problem, I feared what could be a job so distasteful as to warrant spending several hundred dollars at a repair shop. I was, very thankfully, wrong.

I was able to reach the spring clamp with one of the two pliers pictured above. For the replacement, I stacked two caps from the cap assortment pictured (stacked so they were thick enough to make use of the clamp) and reinstalled the OEM spring clamp with the same pliers. A worm clamp would be nearly impossible to install. With the engine cold, it was a pretty easy job. You can see what remains of the old cap at the bottom of the picture.

Conclusion: this job is not nearly as difficult as I previously thought.

I'm gonna be an oracle for a minute here...

2011-06-05T22:27:00.005-05:00

This building used to be a lamp store. Yeah, go figure.

...and pretend like I know the future.

This blog has its place. So does the writing I do for Motorsport Marketing's paper publications. And while I have a staff blog there, it is somewhat more limited in scope and style than The Sentimental Mechanic cares to be at times.

So! The magazines will get, of course, the stories I'm assigned as well as the longer pieces I come up with and research on their time and dime. The GRM staff blog will get a more distilled, shorter version of what you might normally see here. I'm going to venture a guess that I shouldn't be writing, for example, product reviews on the staff blog without any editorial oversight or input from other people on staff, so things like the forthcoming (strongly negative) speedyracerparts header review will remain here at sentimentalmechanic.com. As will road sightings, longer personal blathering about cars and detailed worklogs, and, of course, off-topic ramblings.

Keep in mind that GRM does not in any way support The Sentimental Mechanic, and the views expressed here do not necessarily relate to anything the GRM staff believes. /obligatoryDisclaimer

My current plan is to post a link here whenever I post something on the staff blog and when one of my pieces gets posted to the website. I may reduce that to periodical aggregates if it gets to be too much -- this isn't a Twitter feed, after all.

As of this writing, I've made two posts on the GRM staff blogs. They are as follows:

http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/staff/AlanCesar/greetings-new-guy/

http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/staff/AlanCesar/another-tick-mark-answer-always-miata-tally/

You can see a list of all my GRM posts at this permanent link:

http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/staff/AlanCesar/

Keep watch there for the full up-to-the-minute Sentimental Experience. Otherwise, just stay tuned here and buy a subscription to Grassroots Motorsports to help pad my paycheck.

And I thank you once again, loyal readers, for being loyal, and for reading. I sure as shit couldn't do this if you all were illiterate.*

Keep your wounds greased and your wrenches handy,

Alan
TSM

*and that's one sentence you'll likely never read in a GRM blog.

Milestones don't appear without surprises.

2011-05-28T13:38:00.000-05:00

Today, my trusty (?) Miata rolled over 250,000 miles. Regular readers will remember when I hit a fifth of a million miles. Now that I've done a full quarter mil, the miles will be racking up much more slowly. I've moved to Florida and am working about 5 miles from where I live (as opposed to 60 miles back in Illinois). This is all on the heels of an engine overhaul, which uncovered many, many more broken parts. The car made it the 1200 miles to Daytona Beach without incident, but now that I'm here -- almost as though the car knew its odometer was reaching this particular number -- a fuel injector O-ring lost its will to seal and the cooling system sprung a leak somewhere on the back of the cylinder head.

This afternoon I got a new set of O-rings (to be installed when the engine and sun both cool) and added some chemical stop leak to the cooling system. Hopefully these will take care of the problem. For now, I'm going to enjoy one of the perks of living down here: fixing my farmer tan and getting sand in my shorts.

If you know of a better way...

2011-05-19T11:51:00.002-05:00

... to pack a Miata, I'd like to hear it.
(Surco luggage rack, Axius cargo bag, passenger seat removed.)

Leaving for Florida

2011-05-19T06:39:00.001-05:00

Aha!

2011-05-01T14:34:00.001-05:00

I believe I have finally found the source of all my electrical problems! This is (was!) a copper connector in the posistive lead of my Miata's trunk-mounted battery. It runs to the main fuse in the fuse box. I'm off to the store to get a new piece of cable and some heavy duty welding-grade connectors to splice in a replacement.

A brief note about the not-too-distant future.

2011-04-22T23:24:00.004-05:00

Dear readers, (All seven of you. Hi Mom!*)

I have a bit of a personal note that may affect the future of this blog. I've been hired to write for Motorsport Marketing, publishers most notably of Grassroots Motorsports and Classic Motorsports magazines. This is a dream job for anyone who has wielded both a wrench and a pen, and I'm very fortunate to get it.

Naturally, this disturbs all my previous plans for the year. My brother-in-law recently sold his Supra, so that's one project down. All my LeMons plans are now up in the air. And a few are getting expedited, such as the Miata engine rebuild, so I can have a reliable car for the trip. I have a number of other things to deal with.

But those changes are all small potatoes compared to what I'm getting. I'm moving to Florida, home of sandy beaches and warm weather. That'll be good for the ol' Brasilian blood. I'll work with a bunch of really cool people who are passionate about what they do, put out a couple kickass magazines, bust my ass and have something to be really proud of.

So, rather than continuing to plug away at boring work inside my beige box, I'm living the dream. I never thought I'd be that guy, but here I am. Well, there I'll be. Soon enough. Whether or not I'll have the time, energy, or content to keep the blog alive is another question entirely. If this sentimental mechanic goes quiet sometime after late May, you can look for my writing in the pages of your preferred Motorsports magazine. You'll be seeing my byline there soon enough.

Keep your wounds greased and your wrenches handy.

Alan

TSM

*My mom doesn't actually read my blog.

Street sighting: Post-war Era Dodge Coupe

2011-04-22T18:36:00.006-05:00

It's hard to believe this was a compact car at the time. This is a 1950 Dodge Wayfarer. The wicked sound is a flathead six engine running through a split manifold to two glasspacks. Very cool. That engine is mated to a three-on-the-tree manual via a fluid coupling -- like an early torque converter, without the torque multiplication. This whole thing is hotter than any metaphor I can come up with. I spotted it while Amanda and I were exploring a state park near Sandwich, IL.

Pardon the terrible photos. Taken with a cell phone.

What follows is the owner's description, verbatim from his email, of this car's history after he bought it in 2004. I thought I'd parse it out into digestible nuggets, but I decided instead to leave all the geeky details in. Enjoy!

"It was basically all there, but with a good deal of entropy thrown in--carb in pieces (not all there) in a box, the stuck valves I mentioned, ignition scrambled (distributor inserted 180 degrees out of whack), wiring misconnected all over the place, and, of course, a good deal of rust everywhere. The left rear fender was hopeless, but I found an NOS* piece in Wisconsin."

"Gas tank contents had turned into something resembling blackstrap molasses (I eventually gave up and went with another used gas tank). Took until summer of 2008 to get things sorted out to where it would go on the road. The 4.30 rearend I mentioned came from a '55 Plymouth station wagon with overdrive. I also got the engine and transmission from it. The '55 cylinder head had a higher compression ratio (7.6 versus 7.0--some big deal!), so that went onto the Dodge engine.

"Made an adapter for the intake manifold to take a small 2-barrel unit in place of the original 1-barrel. Sent the exhaust manifold to the the guy at Kansas Kustoms, who does a beautiful job of making it into a split unit for duals (running through Smittys Glasspaks). Converted to 12 volts, with the usual GM one-wire alternator."

"The power brake and hydraulic clutch unit came from a Jeep Cherokee, Mopar disks in front installed with an adapter from Scarebird. In the rear, I put in a swaybar originally destined for a '68 Dodge Charger. The front springs were a bit 'relaxed,' so I put lowering blocks on the rear to get things in a (lower) line. Everything runs pretty well, though with the 4.30 rearend the engine is doing about 3000 rpm at 55 mph--the horsepower peak (such as it is) is at 3600, and the old-time racers generally said that the 'red line' was around 4800. I've gotten it to 4000 rpm without anything letting go, but it's probably not the best idea, since the stroke is really loooong and it only has 4 main bearings supporting the crank."

-----------------------------------

*NOS, in the classic car world, is an abbreviation for "new old stock." This seemingly contradictory term refers to parts that are technically brand-new in that they've never been put on a car, but were originally made a long time ago. This is a distinction from new replacement parts being made today. Amanda tells me the fashion industry calls this "dead stock."

Built-in underhood cupholders

2011-03-28T21:19:00.002-05:00

A little-known feature designed into early Miatas encouraged drinking tasty beverages while wrenching! Eric and I were working on replacing my steering rack. After a lunch break, we discovered these handy holes just in front of the radiator. They're the perfect size for drinks from Popeye's.

Some great automotive writing

2011-03-23T17:09:00.004-05:00

John Phillips is one of the few truly great writers in the industry. C/D lately has been exhuming choice articles from their archives, and this one from 1998 made me smile all the way through.

http://www.caranddriver.com/reviews/car/archive/ford_crown_victoria_lounge_lizard-archived_project_car

The passage describing the engine's noise is probably my favorite part, but there are so many nuggets of verbal pleasure throughout. I'll let you get to that one yourself (it's on page 2 of the feature), but here's a taste of his writing:

"We next installed a set of lower-compression pistons that allowed us to double the boost, a combination good for a total of 370 horsepower and, unfortunately, more detonation than Navy SEALs encounter in a whole career — enough, in fact, that on a 95-degree day, as we were noodling out engine-computer calibrations at Ford's test track, a connecting rod tunneled its way through the iron block and, last time we saw it, was touring downtown Dearborn."

I picture a broken connecting rod adorned with a top hat, bouncing happily past the tourist traps. I chuckled.

The tells that this is from a bygone era: Seventeen-inch wheels are "monster meats;" horsepower in the 400s is considered heroic; Csaba Csere is C/D's editor in chief; and the Mercury Marauder is just a rumor.

I'm having hot patches.

2011-03-12T18:37:00.001-06:00

Taken in front of a mirror, then flipped back in Photoshop. Did I just blow your mind?

Thanks to recessbilly for the sweet TeamZX2 patch. I ironed on the LeMons Chicago and the TeamZX2 patch to my racing suit this afternoon. It took a couple tries. I'm excited to show it off at the track this year!

Portable soldering iron: Such a wonderful thing does exist!

2011-03-12T18:08:00.004-06:00

Whiskey not included.

Have you ever stumbled across a tool that made you wonder how you ever got along without it? How you never so much as considered such a thing might exist or how it would work?

The Weller Portasol is one such tool. A couple Xmases ago, I received this butane-powered soldering iron kit and the standard tabletop electric kit behind it. Both were gifts from Amanda's dad, Jim, and both had been sitting at his place unused for many years. The Portasol is probably the best unexpected gift ever.

I've often needed to solder something inside a car, but it was impractical or impossible to take the part out and bring it indoors to solder. Using a soldering iron in a driveway is also annoying, especially when you don't have a long enough extension cord and it's too cold and/or windy outside for the iron to stay hot. Herein lies the joy of this little tool.

The kit has a sponge, a stand, and a handful of attachments including a hot knife. There's even a striker in there, so to take it anywhere all you need is a wet sponge and some butane. The solder has an on/off control, and a flame (temperature) adjustment.

It was 30-some degrees and windy last night when I went outside to repair Amanda's coil pack connector. I loved being able to just grab the kit and go to work. No need to run an extension cord out the window and down one story. It's easy to use and does everything you can ask of it. A perfect tool. Even for quick indoor jobs I prefer to use it over an electric one.

This particular model is no longer sold, but you can find new Portasols out there.

Mad props to Jim for this gift. The variable temperature electric iron is handy as well. Thanks!

Broken wires!

2011-03-12T17:18:00.001-06:00

Bad connections can be impossible to troubleshoot.

Amanda's car (2000 Protege 1.8L) has been having drivability issues, and a P0300 error code (random misfire). Gas mileage was awful, it was seriously down on power half the time, idle was low and shaky, the exhaust smelled like gas.

After a lot of driving around with the computer hooked up and trying a number of things, my dad and I deduced that the coil packs were overheating. They're mounted almost directly above the exhaust manifold. So we ordered the part (~$100 from RockAuto). When the new coil arrived, I went outside and replaced it only to find the problem was still there. When I was putting the original coils back on, I noticed the problem above. One of the three wires for one coil pack had broken off at the connector.

Soldering when you have no room to strip insulation is tough. It's additionally difficult when you do this in a parking lot on a chilly March night with only a flashlight to illuminate your work. But I managed a good enough connection, and the problem is gone. The solder will hold until I can hack a new connector and wires from a junkyard car.

Problem is, Proteges aren't particularly common. And unlike the very common 1.8L BP engine, this 1.8L FP was only in the Protege ES in 1999 and 2000. The later 2.0L FS engine is related, but didn't use these coils. Finding a plug and pigtail might take a while.

Speedometer replacement

2011-03-04T23:35:00.001-06:00

This is from last summer. Right around my birthday, I bought a used speedometer head from the guys at BTDT Racing, a local Spec Miata outfit that also sells used Miata parts. Why? My speedometer did weird things in the winter.

It makes this chattering/chugging/scratching noise. It's weird. While it's doing this, the needle will seriously bounce across a range of 15-20 mph until the car warms up, and is exacerbated by bumps even when it is warm. I learned to tell speed by my RPMs.

The noise will get louder, turning into a constant whooshing kind of sound, while the needle shoots WAAAAY up. Seriously, I saw 120 mph indicated when I was going about 65. Thankfully, I clocked this and it did not affect the odometer, just the instant indicated speed. I won't bore you with the details, because this is boring enough.

I tried lubricating the speedometer cable many times with a penetrating graphite-based lubricant -- the proper kind to use on cables and such -- to no avail. So I just got a new head. To test it, I did what you see above: just stuck the head onto the cable and took it for a spin. It's really disconcerting to drive a car without most of an instrument cluster.

Anyway,the needle in the new cluster was still just a little bouncy, but much better than before. The real test was coming this winter.

Which is when I found out that it's considerably better for accuracy and doesn't do the shooting-way-up thing it did before, but it's still really bouncy when cold and makes that scratching noise (actually, Eric likened it to the chugging of a steam engine). So I included a new speedometer cable with my recent order of engine parts from Mazda Motorsports. In the mean time, I did get improved functionality.

And my trip odometer had stopped resetting the tenths place on the old unit. Don't worry: I was honest and replaced only the trip odometer reels and the speedometer head. I kept my original 229k-mile odometer in the car. Below is the final result. I'm currently reading more than 240k miles, but my trip odometer works and the speedometer works better (though not perfectly). I'll put in the new cable soon; I'm certain now that's the primary culprit.

Update: Fixed!

Shelby made a pickup truck. Who knew?

2011-02-26T22:02:00.004-06:00

What was the first rear-wheel drive car that Carroll Shelby put his name to after the Mustangs in the '60s? It was none other than Dodge's compact truck offering, the 1989 Dakota. For most of the '80s, Shelby had been busy with turbocharging the living shit out of Dodge's little Omni penalty boxes. Those cars were dubbed GLH (its successor, GLH-S), which stood for "Goes Like Hell" ("-Som'more"). They really should've been called TSIATADAHFD (Torque Steer Into A Tree And Die A Horrible Fiery Death). After those crazy monsters, he tried his hand at useless and slow.

Seems like Dodge wanted to drum up sales of its relatively new small truck with a couple limited edition versions, including a convertible, and this here high-po Shelby Dakota with V8 power.

The regular Dakota's3.9L V6 is essentially a 318-cube (5.2L) V8 sans two cylinders; all Shelby's factory had to do was remove the V6 and massage the V8 a bit before bolting it in. The only special provision involved lopping off the crank-driven radiator fan and fitting an electric fan instead... which is apparently missing here. Good luck in traffic with this one.

This swap was so simple, in fact, that Dodge offered its workhorse 318 as the top-spec engine in regular Dakotas starting in 1991.

The truck received no handling upgrades to speak of, though the press release circa 1989 brags about its nitrogen gas shocks and 70-series radial tires. Oooooo, I'm all tingly. It did get the obligatory limited-slip differential and some newfangled fancy transmission, but that trans was an automatic. Boo. I guess a 4-speed overdrive slushbox was a big deal in '89.

What's especially disappointing is the fact that this truck pulls the same 0-60 time as a 1995 Neon, or a 1989 Miata. A blistering 8 seconds.

They only made 1500 of these, each with a numbered plaque affixed to the dashboard to remind you of your econo-with-a-six-foot-box exclusivity. This one's number 1202, and the current body-shop-operating owner has a big trophy in his office that it won at a car show a couple years ago. The trophy is in front of the window in the last picture. He's selling this example, which has seen 62k miles, for a measly seven grand. I'll admit the graphics look nice, as does that styling thing over the bed. But a slow, unknown, 20-year-old truck with no street cred and a bunch of big-name badges is not worth that much money in my eyes. Maybe to the right guy wearing Mopar-tinted glasses.

The guy who was drooling all over this truck (when I stopped by this body shop for a quote on rust repair) also talked in very excited tones about the Chrysler Sebring parked next to it. Ouch. If you're interested in either one, there is no hope for y-- uh, I mean: They're for sale at Bob Schmidt Body Shop in DeKalb, Illinois.

Dorifto!

2011-02-25T17:48:00.003-06:00

Winter feels like it'll be over soon, so I get her sideways at every possible (safe) opportunity. That's made easier by the fact that my snow tires are pretty much finished. I'm getting new, cheap all-season tires for daily duty this weekend; I'll survive any forthcoming snow, and get some fresh winter tires next season.

2011 Chicago Auto Show.

2011-02-14T00:04:00.000-06:00

I went to the Chicago Auto Show with my friend and mutual obsessor over cars, Mr. Eric. He's the guy in all those pictures. Above are the highlights (and lowlights) of this year's show.

Up and Comers for 2011

2011-02-08T16:43:00.004-06:00

Last may, I wrote about my plans for the 2010 racing season. These included a lot of work on the Miata, which I couldn't take on because of limited time and/or money. Let's recap.

Things I did accomplish:

Completed a welding class. Got a welder for my birthday -- thanks, Mom and Dad!
Ordered all my LeMons don't-catch-my-ass-on-fire gear.
Tore down the free Miata engine (pictured above, though it was last weekend, not in 2010).
All my LeMons-related goals! Engine swap, cage build, wheel/tire fitment, finding enough drivers, getting accepted, and racing! Holy crap, racing!

Things I did not accomplish:

Race in enough events to be eligible for an autocross trophy.
Replace Miata suspension bushings.
Install Flyin' Miata frame rails.
Rebuild any Miata engine.

LeMons took a lot more research, effort, and straight up wrenching time than I anticipated, and limited what I could do on my street/autocross car.

What's coming up this year?

Complete my first (and perhaps second) engine rebuild ever.

The rusty Miata block is getting an overbore and new OEM pistons, but the bottom end is all in pristine, low-mileage condition. So that's staying as-is. Saves me the effort of Plastigaging all the bearings, and I'll have an OEM-quality bottom end. And that saves time too. I'm already on borrowed time with my timing belt, and I want to swap engines before the belt snaps.

I'm buying a cheap rebuild kit on eBay with standard bearings and rings. I'm initially just using the gasket set. After the first rebuild is done, I'll take my quarter-million-mile engine and give it a complete rebuild with the bearings and rings from the kit, buying just a gasket set and some Plastigage to complete the job.

Give the Miata a few little upgrades.

Namely, those same FM frame rails and perhaps those Energy Suspension bushings I wanted last year. Replace the speedometer cable. Get a new set of tires. Replace a few other small comfort or function items. Deal with the rust on the windshield frame. Fabricate a custom cat-back exhaust. Install new, not-from-a-junkyard speakers. Y'know. Just a few little things.

Race the Team Resignation Escort in one or two LeMons races, and break into the top 10 on laps.

Last year, I led Team Resignation to a Heroic Fix trophy at the Blago 500, and managed 60-somethingth place with 200-some laps despite almost an entire day of down time. We also got some internet and mainstream press coverage and earned a couple accolades. This year I want to keep it on the track and make it into the top 10 when LeMons returns to Autobahn in October. With a little luck, we might also run the July race at Gingerman.

A top 10 finish is ambitious, but top 20 is definitely within reach. The car will need more camber (as part of a real alignment), better exhaust, better springs, and a better engine computer, and a complete wiring harness that hasn't been hacked to pieces. All these things have either been purchased or are coming soon. We'll also need to seriously work on cutting down pitting, fueling, and driver-change times. Giving everyone specific jobs for each stop and practicing it all will be part of that, as will arriving at the track on Thursday to get a good pit spot.

And, of course, we'll need to not have catastrophic failures. To prepare for that eventuality, I want to...

Strip the parts donor and prepare a spare Escort drivetrain.

My old commuter car is still sitting in my parents' driveway, with the LeMon's blown engine in the trunk and its original transmission zip-tied in the engine bay (you read that right). I'm getting a spare engine and rebuilding that transmission (it needs a new shift fork), and mating them up. I want to have a complete drivetrain ready to swap in if anything goes bad, so we can get back on the track in (kind of) a hurry.

We're also stripping any usable parts off that ZX2 to keep as spares. Wheel bearings, brake rotors, and steering rack, primarily. And selling off the rest to offset some of the costs of racing.

Autocross?

Racing autocross events this year will primarily be to shake down the Escort and test suspension settings. I'm not renewing my SCCA membership this year because it's too expensive and I don't have the time to devote to it. Besides, the frame rail reinforcements aren't legal in STS class, and the SCCA is too serious and not-fun anyway. Which means there'll be an ugly, rusty, Contact-papered Escort running the cones with a bunch of Miatas. It'll be great. I'll run the Miata when I have time.

This is going to be one big damn year.

I'm pumped!

Update:
Oh yeah, the Supra.
My brother-in-law reminded me in the comments that he's got a Supra that's been sitting for a couple years. I agreed to toy around with it and see if I could troubleshoot its hot start issues.

I suppose it's more apt to say "I convinced him to let me do pretty much what I want with it while he's gone." And I have not lived up to my promise, since it's still sitting at his parents' place untouched. Oof. This is gonna be a big year indeed.

Another Sightings Hodgepodge!

2011-02-05T01:57:00.002-06:00

From now on, I'm going to try and post my sightings more immediately. One by one. They'll be a little more timely, and hopefully a little more detailed too. But that's for later. Right now, PREPARE FOR MEGADOOM!

Uh... I mean, "Prepare for an unnecessarily long series of photos of weird shit I've seen."

BEGIN.

Those are stock Ford Mustang 17" wheels, circa 1997. On a Dodge Caravan. I've seen this van around a few times now. They actually look pretty good, except for the leaping horse on the centercap.

On a country road. Saw this hitting the back roads on the way home after an SCCA autocross.
Keep it classy, Joliet.

What are those big-ass propellers doing underneath that weird-looking tiny car?

They belong there! It's an Amphicar! They made less than 4000 of these, in the early '60s. And I saw one on my morning commute. Definitely weird. I love the numbers on the side.

Ah, Panamera. You look good from certain angles. Not so much from others.

So, that's a weird-looking spoiler. What's going on? Somebody with lots of money and absolutely zero taste decide to put a ricer wing on a Porsche?

It was an epic downpour that day, so the license plate was hard to make out right away. But you can definitely see it's one spoiler on top of another. I thought this was incredibly stupid, until I realized...

It's a freakin' Tie Fighter! This man is no ricer. He's just an epic nerd. Props.

Handicapped spot. Farm & Fleet. What else can I say?

It's an LTD Crown Vic. Because you're not rich enough to get hauled to your grave in a Cadillac, or even a Lincoln. It's Police Cruiser With A Butt for you. You know what that means.

I'll avoid AC/DC jokes.

As long as we're on the topic of Panther platforms, check out this winner. Black Beauty indeed. That fake-gem-encrusted TV antenna is non-functional. There's no TV in that car. Trust me. The back windows aren't tinted, I could see everywhere inside it. Definitely no TV.

But goddamn does that V8 run hot. Thing's got vents all over the place.

Double the V8s, double your fuel consumption!

Well, of course it has a turbo. Only a total poseur would put a fake hood vent on his Grand Marquis if it didn't have a turbo.

Oh yeah. As though it couldn't get any more perfect. The guy must've robbed every single stick-on accessory from this place. I can't imagine any sane person actually buying all those. That's gotta be a couple hundred bucks worth of adhesive-backed plastic junk.

I really hope that's intentional.

Who are you trying to kid? The R33 wasn't even made by Suzuki, and even if it were, this car isn't even close. Though it is AWD. Maybe it's a reference to the owner's age. Yeah, I'll pretend that, even though it makes no sense.

See, now THIS is a baby R33. Ask Alberto, he'll tell you.

Oh yeah, look at all those brand names! None of which are actually on the car! Pro tip for all you aspiring car guys: maroon and yellow are not friends.

Obligatory wing and fart cannon.

I love the contrast of the fake wood dashboard trim and the nasty yellow aftermarket seat, steering wheel, and (for the love of...) seat belt covers! That's dedication. I suppose it carries through to the inside the yellow from the decals outside.

Think I'm going to make fun of the American Racing rims on a Japanese car? It's good for a giggle, sure, but I can't get away with that. I have AR rims on my Mazda. What you should look closely at though is that the owner even added decals to the wheels. LOBO! This man is the wolf! Ugh. He must have a buddy that does stickers. No sane person would pay for all this.

Alright, an interesting import! I couldn't get a decent photo of it, but that there is a Citroën Deux Chevaux. France's response to the Beetle. Spotted in Sycamore, and no, not on the weekend where they have that car show. Pretty neat to see, though in a really goddamned gross color combination. What did I say about yellow combined with reddish hues?

Chevrolet HHR owner loves shopping enough to get a vanity plate. Too bad s/he didn't spend more time shopping for a car. What a miserable me-too mobile. If you're gonna buy a sad, slow, retro-imitating penalty box, go all out and just buy the damned PT Cruiser already.

Better still to skip the retro and go right to vintage. '66 Mini Cooper is mini indeed.

Sunuvabitch has 10-inch wheels. No shit.

Definitely the last thing I expected to see in the morning at work. Buh. Thankfully, he didn't hang around long.

Hipsters in an orange Gremlin. Thank you, Chicago. Did look nice in orange, though I suspect that's a respray.

Think that "X" over the rear fender means something sporty or cool? Nah, not really. Wikipedia says it was just an appearance package.

Speaking of appearance packages, what's the stupidest one of all? You guessed it: the Brabus-edition Smart Fortwo! Major price hike for some big wheels, showy center exhaust, and a lot of stickers. But zero actual performance upgrades. I can only hope the fool who bought this got it on a serious discount, salesman begging him to take it instead of the standard models on his lot.

I saw the Wienermobile again. Very weird to see it twice on the interstate.

Alright, seriously look at this. The truck has some plastic trim that is supposed to go along the edge of the running boards, but it started to come off. Instead of ripping it off -- because, judging by the rust, age, and missing trim on the front door, looks aren't exactly a priority here -- the owner decided to tie up the shitty trim! To the fuel door! Yeah! What the hell is the point? Just tear the goddamned thing off!

A salad kit that reminds you of high-profile assassination.

A new piece on my desk. It's a gift from a guy I work with. I previously kept my pens and things in a Hormel Chili with BEANS (emphasis original). I think I prefer the chili, actually, but this is cool too.

Beer-shaped meat. I'd rather have a murder salad.

If you can't stomach the thought of beer-meat, flush it out with a Smooth Move.
I really do appreciate blunt marketing, especially for things that are normally tiptoed around. I'm still waiting for that idea to hit tampon ads.

There's something wrong here, but I'm not sure what.

Wasn't I saying something about nerds earlier?

Haha! It says anus!

END.

Indy 500 Camaro repo car?

2011-01-24T20:59:00.000-06:00

This was going to be in my forthcoming sightings post, but with today's news it deserves its own. GM is making a modern replica of the 1969 Camaro pace car. This particular example of the original, which I spotted last September, apparently belongs to a guy who will take yours away if you don't pay the bank.

It's hard to make out with my shitty cell phone photo (click to enlarge either photo), but those plates are definitely marked "REPOSESSOR." Why someone would put these plates on their car is beyond my understanding, never mind on such a non-subtle vehicle. Aren't repo men/women supposed to be, you know, sneaky?

Running Rich: Final Edition?

2011-01-23T09:31:00.001-06:00

I've determined the cause of many of my problems, including the ~~backfiring,~~ tachometer fluctuation, weak cold-weather starting, cold-weather cold-start misfiring, occasional idle droop, and idle droop in frequency with turn signals.

All these issues disappear when I tighten my alternator belt. That's right. Tighten my alternator belt.

Though that belt slackens rather quickly, and it's kind of dismaying. I'm guessing either the crank pulley or water pump is bad, causing the pulley to wobble and putting extra stress on the belt. So it stretches, and I have to re-tighten it. Annoying. I'm waiting for when I rebuild the engine to replace these two things.

Off-Topic: The Man on the Moon

2011-01-21T07:29:00.001-06:00

I work at a lighting company that makes a lot of fixtures from glass. This one in particular, it struck me, looked a lot like the moon. My co-worker Ahmed disagreed. He said it looked like cheese. "There's no man on it," he said. So I made one. And a little flag, too.

Not satisfied with just that, I added a moon rover as well.

I don't have an actual Lego man, so I just made him (and the rover) out of some Legos I have at my desk. The astronaut's helmet is a glass bulb shield that's used in many of our products. The flag is just a piece of clear tape drawn on with narrow-tip Sharpies. The light fixture is actually called Aquarii, because I guess it's supposed to look like sea foam or something. It comes in a couple colors. I still think it's a moon.

Homer Simpson

2011-01-21T07:18:00.000-06:00

Snow and road grime on my commute to work recently gave my car Homer Simpson-esque stubble. Notice it didn't spare the side mirror either.

Headlights

2011-01-20T21:33:00.000-06:00

Had a burned out headlight when I left work last night. I put rice on to cook, and ran outside to do this. I had picked up the better lights available at Farm & Fleet. Philips Clearvision, or something like that. Strangely, General Electric is actually the brand formed onto the lens. Whatever. These are considerably better than what I had.

What's most unfortunate is that my car's eyebrows -- courtesy of Andre on the day I first met him -- are now gone.

Replacement header goes in painlessly

2011-01-09T20:58:00.003-06:00

(click here to see these photos in a gallery)

Replacing the header went well. I'm thoroughly satisfied with Raceland's customer service, and I'm hoping the rusty one was just a slip-up in quality control.

Previous post related to this:
Initial impression and installation guide.
First signs of possible issues.
When it actually broke.
Raceland's response.

Warranty honored on Raceland header

2010-12-29T14:24:00.002-06:00

I found out last night from their website that they offer a 2 year warranty on materials and workmanship of their products. That was somewhat reassuring, but I was a still skeptical about a relative newcomer to the US market and a company that seems to have a lot of presence on eBay. My skepticism has been assuaged a bit.

I received an e-mail response this morning from Raceland USA. The person (who did not give a name) said they've never seen that kind of problem before, assumed it was defective, and would gladly send me a replacement. This rep said that s/he'd talk to their tech department, and would send me a return shipping label if they wanted to study the rusty one.

I've received a tracking number. Having to redo the work is no fun, but it's nice to know they respond quickly to problems and honor their warranty. I will continue to document this experience.

Update, 1/6/10: The replacement arrived. They did include a return shipping label for the failed header, so I'll be sending that back as soon as it's out. Quality of the welds and materials on the replacement looks about as good as the original. Here's to hoping that the actual alloy used is a more proper mix so it doesn't rust.

Raceland header rusts and breaks

2010-12-28T23:17:00.005-06:00

Update at bottom.
On my commute home tonight, my car backfired badly twice on consecutive upshifts. Immediately after the second blast, my car was ear-bleedingly loud. I knew something bad had happened to my header; it had been looking and sounding iffy for a couple weeks. When I got home, I jacked the car up and saw this.

After a trip to Farm & Fleet for a patch kit and a set of jack stands that I would later return, I came home and applied the patch. It worked for about 5 minutes, and quickly became nearly as loud as it was before. I blame my poor patch job and not buying enough patch material. But it's quiet enough to get me to my parents' garage without making me deaf.

I'm going to send the picture above to Raceland and ask for a replacement. T-304 stainless steel shouldn't rust, especially not like this, and not after barely more than a year. For now, I'm driving Amanda's car to work the rest of the week (the university is closed, so she's off work) and I'll apply a more permanent repair.

My original post about the install is here:
http://sentimentalmechanic.blogspot.com/2009/11/var-gajshost-https-document.html

Update: The 2-year warranty was honored, and I'm impressed with their customer service.

http://sentimentalmechanic.blogspot.com/2010/12/warranty-honored-on-raceland-header.html

The hottest mans alive

2010-11-28T15:54:00.000-06:00

Myself and Eric, always with teh sexiness.

Amanda and Jenny, welcome to your futures.

Did you expect something classier?

2010-11-08T22:16:00.005-06:00

I got under my car to fix my broken exhaust hanger for a second time. The strap I used before broke shortly after I got this car back on the road. I took this opportunity to put in a new muffler.

So I grabbed a Thrush Turbo universal muffler with 2" ID connections. Since the Miata's stock piping is 1-7/8" OD and I, of course, was too cheap to buy adapters; I just stuck exhaust clamps on and cranked the shit out of them. I sealed up the gaps with muffler cement. I cut the hangers off the other muffler and welded them on the new one, but I welded the inlet-side one (that was broken off the OEM muffler) in the wrong place. It was late, the sawzall blade was shot, and I'd lost interest in perfection in my already ghetto setup, so I did the strapping job again on that side. I may revisit this oh who am I kidding? It's gonna stay shitty forever.

I had a glasspack on the ZX2 for a long time and it droned unbearably while cruising, which is why I went with a more normal muffler. I have a long commute.

This setup is quiet at idle and even at a fast 4,000 RPM cruise (at 80 mph). No booming, no droning; perfectly civilized. It rips pretty nicely when you're on the gas above 3k RPM. No, it's not a classy burble and it's not a low tone by any means, but I'm enjoying it. I'm sure it's not good for my gas mileage.

Horsepower? Pfft. Who cares? It's quiet when I want, loud when I want, and the pipe doesn't bang on the subframe brace anymore. I call that a success.

_____________________________________

In other news, I'm now using the wet weather tires from my LeMons racer on the Miata. They're taller than stock by about 1.5 inches, which means they rub the fenders and fender liners often. But they look nicer than the shitty 13" steelies I had on before, give much better grip, and best of all, don't make the car shimmy at highway speeds like an alcoholic detoxing.

I also switched oil to Castrol 20w-50, and it has stopped burning oil entirely. Gas mileage also dropped about 15% (to ~27 mpg), and anyway that heavy oil isn't ideal for winter. I'll be searching for a happy medium with my next oil change.

A eulogy.

2010-10-30T11:43:00.005-05:00

And so it goes. I tapped the rocker panel with my foot as I left work last Thursday. Really, it was a light tap. And the tip of my shoe busted it in, because it was nothing but paint. I suppose it's just as well. When it happened Thursday, I snapped this photo with the expectation of making a humorous post about it here. Instead, it has become bittersweet.

I'll spare you the details; Eric will be posting soon on the Team Resignation blog about how it all went down. Suffice it to say that the race car's engine blew up, and swapping in the one from my ZX2 was the only viable option to keep us on the track.

So that's what we did.

Which makes it pretty official. After roughly a hundred thousand miles across six and a half years of service in my hands, my daily driver is dead. Its 210-thousand-mile engine lives on in the race car, and soon too will its wiring harness and perhaps front control arms. Which gives it a status not unlike an organ donor (except, you know, less important).

Little car, you have served me well. I'm sad you're gone, but your final days weren't exactly your best.

You had an evap system leak I refused to fix. I had pulled those vacuum hoses and plugged the intake manifold with electrical tape. This also meant the HVAC fan would only blow at the windshield.
You had a loud clunk from the front suspension which I'm pretty sure was broken sway bar links, but never put in the effort to check.
You had been backed into a faucet and your rear bumper was screwed back into place. A week later, the mirror got busted off on the corner of the same house and was reattached with the same screws as the bumper.
Your exhaust was beginning to leak, making you noisier by the week.
Your third gear hadn't been working for several years.
Your shifter bushings were completely shot, and the shifter buzzed loudly at nearly all times.
Your rear defroster never worked.
You had bald tires on ugly Escort GT fan-blade wheels.
Your rear speakers would crackle at the mere suggestion of bass.
I planned to never wash you again.

But despite all this, you unfailingly, albeit noisily, carried me to work. Took Amanda and I on a camping trip to Michigan. Were flung over a set of railroad tracks daily at 70 mph so I could get sweet air. And so on, and so on.

Goodbye, dependable commuter car. I have no choice now but to keep what I need and part out what I don't. It's not an elegant death, true. But I hope your heart lasts long enough to propel us into the top ten next year. You can do it. You've survived worse.

Righting past wrongs.

2010-10-18T05:04:00.001-05:00

This car is finally gone. I had it for almost exactly 3 months, and oh holy crap am I glad it's gone. That's the Mazda 323 GTX that I picked up in July, without a transmission or turbo, and with a blown engine and hacked-to-fuck wiring harness. The car itself was free, but it did cost me a vacation day and about $100 worth of gas -- and a LOT of sweat because I wisely picked it up on the hottest day of the year.

I did manage to scavenge a few things from it. Most notably, several aftermarket gauges, a battery terminal and some battery cables, and an old 5-point safety harness.

I sold it to a local man for $300. He owns another 323 (non-GTX) and will use this as a parts car. I hope he can put it to good use. Pictured is my dad hooking up the winch on the guy's trailer.

As for that spot in my parents' driveway? I hope to fill it with my brother-in-law's been-sitting-in-his-parents'-garage-for-several-years 1988 or '89 Toyota Supra Turbo (with hot start issues!) while he's away for a year or more. And I still need to rebuild the Miata's engine.

Slutting it up

2010-10-12T22:37:00.001-05:00

If you read me here but don't follow the Team Resignation blog, you should head over there right now. There's something very special waiting for you; Eric and I are whoring ourselves across all the media we have access to.

So, go there. Get your fill of details of how to join in on the ~~inevitable fiery death~~ fun!

This made me laugh a lot

2010-10-12T20:36:00.000-05:00

Facebook comments on a friend's link to a Busta Rhymes music video from the '90s.

________________________

Kevin: The 90s were awesome. The vidya gaemz were better, the work was less, and the cars were lighter and less concerned about health and safety.

And hip pop hadn't been spawned yet. Coolio was somebody. A gallon of 87 was worth pennies-on-a-dollar. The Bulls won the Finals and the Dream Team cleaned house at the Olympics.

How are the 90s NOT better than today?

Duncan: I can watch porn on my phone.

________________________

I love America.

The Out Campaign: Support your local atheist

2010-10-04T10:11:00.002-05:00

I am an atheist. I don't apologize for it, but I usually don't make a big deal about it. I've added the Out Campaign's scarlet letter to my sidebar. Atheism is not a religion in that atheists do not have a common set of beliefs or practices; we don't gather once a week and compare clothing.* Atheism is, rather, a simple statement of disbelief in supernatural beings, be they part of an organized religion or not. Personal beliefs on morality, science, and so on can vary.

I identify as a secular humanist. But regardless of your moral standing, it's important for atheists of all stripes to make themselves known to society. Maybe, eventually, we can garner some respect in the socio-political world to the point where religion is not part of the equation when someone runs for Senate (or, God willing,** president).

_______________________________________

*RIP, George Carlin.

**Haha.

My Lady of Infinite Patience

2010-10-02T09:39:00.001-05:00

My girlfriend, Amanda, recently went out and got some mats cut for various posters and frames of hers in the apartment. This particular poster is mine, and it was already framed. It was not matted, nor did I expect it to be. This was a nice surprise, especially considering how much stress and time apart this particular racing series has caused us.

This doesn't mean she's not excited to have me back after October 24th. But it's good to know my obsession hasn't driven her to murder... yet.

The definition of badass

2010-09-20T21:43:00.001-05:00

This is the cheapest combo pack of approved fire-safety apparel available through the LeMons store. That's right, I'm cheap even when it means I could start on fire.

I think I'm trying to do a muscle pose, but as usually happens when I try to look manly, I do it wrong. Somehow "muscle pose" became "walk like a retarded Egyptian." Maybe the heat (the outfit is very warm) and the excitement of getting stuff in the mail were acting on my brain.

All my ~~regretful expenditures~~ racing supplies arrived on Saturday. They saved on shipping by stuffing the fireproof long johns, racing harness and gloves inside the helmet. That was weird, but efficient.

The harness is blue, and so will match the epically uncomfortable Kirkey aluminum racing seat. My suit, all black except for gloves and neck brace, fits fine but is far from flattering. I was hoping red-with-black-accents would look badass. It does not. It will, however, keep me from starting on fire. So that's a nice perk.

Save the Manuals!

2010-09-18T01:09:00.002-05:00

Everybody who can drive a stickshift, get on board. The manual transmission is at risk of disappearing from this country, and without it, enthusiasts will suffer. It is my firm belief that people who know how to shift their own gears are more aware drivers, and have more fun at it too. A clutch has borne more car enthusiasts than any poster of a Lamborghini or Porsche.

This isn't about decrying new technology. It's about learning a simple skill that can save you money, help the environment, and make you a more versatile driver. Manual transmissions are better than automatics in many ways. Let me briefly list a few:

Longer lasting
More efficient (better mpgs!)
Better car control
Cheaper to buy
Cheaper to maintain

Join the fight! Get yourself a sticker or a button. Spread the word. Offer to teach friends and family how to row their own gears (or learn from someone, if you don't know). If you're shopping for a new car, insist on seeing one in a stickshift. Help make America a better place for drivers.

http://www.caranddriver.com/features/10q3/save_the_manuals!-car_and_driver

I voiced my support for this movement early on, and for that, Car & Driver sent me a sticker and a button. Amanda wanted the button for her purse. I, the sticker fanatic, have yet to decide where I'm putting that sticker (in the background of the photo above). Don't worry, it'll be on one of my cars soon.

How to make a billiard ball shift knob

2010-09-06T12:44:00.008-05:00

This is something I've wanted to do for a while. I was intimidated because people on the internet suggested fancy things like drill bits for glass and tile, and using a drill press (which I don't have), and so on. I found a set of used balls on Craigslist for $10 and decided it was worth a shot. Below is a slideshow detailing how to do it. Turn the captions on and off with the button on the bottom left. (Or click here to go directly to the photo gallery with captions.)

If you're feeling lazy, I could make one for you. Click my face in the sidebar and send me an e-mail; we'll work something out. The M10x1.25 thread works for many imports (Mazda Miata and Protege for sure) and Ford Escorts. Probably lots of Hondas and VWs too.

Tool Review: Task Force mini locking pliers

2010-08-24T21:32:00.005-05:00

Edit: Brevity! I got this mini locking pliers (Vise-Grip knockoffs) at Lowe's for $2. It is awesome. I keep it with me all the time. It's saved my ass on more than one occasion, and I haven't had it more than 2 months. Highly recommended. The End.

~~These were an impulse buy at Lowe's. Cost me all of $1.99. They've really small, but fully functional locking pliers. These are also known as Vise-Grips, though that's a brand name.~~

~~This thing is cheap, but surprisingly well built. The jaws line up like they're supposed to, the rivets hold tight, it doesn't wiggle or feel insecure when you lock it up.~~

It does everything you expect locking pliers to do. They open, close, adjust, lock, and unlock. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw how wide the jaws open; they open wide enough to grab the thick part of the Miata's shifter, and you can lock them down tight enough to mar the living fuck out of said shifter. Yeah, those jaws have real, functional teeth that get excellent bite.

They do not open far enough to grab a spring-type radiator hose clamp, however. When I went to procure a radiator hose at a junkyard last week, I used these along with my multi-tool to open the clamp up. The locking feature came in handy there.

That multi-tool and these locking pliers are the tools I keep with me nearly at all times. They take up little space and are excellent performers. And at a tenth the price of that multi-tool, these locking pliers are a performance bargain.

Off Topic: Power supply fire

2010-08-24T20:27:00.000-05:00

A little over a year ago, Amanda bought a new Dell Studio desktop. During an electrical storm recently, it awoke from standby and started smelling of burning electronics. This smell woke Amanda up (it was the middle of the night), and she, naturally, woke me up. She had tracked the smell down to her computer by this point, and noted that one of the fans was running loudly.

I opened the thing up so I could tell Amanda something comforting and go back to sleep. I made sure important components weren't actually on fire.

The smell dissipated by morning and her computer was still working, though it would regularly hang for a few moments, the power supply fan would kick on high speed, and it would then it would continue working.

The following evening I opened up the power supply and found these things:

Burn marks on the board (center, dark brown spot), and...

capacitors and other components showing signs of overheating. The capacitors are swollen, though that's hard to tell here. That small ring with the wire coiled around it and the cracking white stuff is called a choke, and, as I suspected, is used for reducing electrical noise/interference. I didn't know what it was until I went looking on the magical interwebs. The white stuff is not supposed to be flaking off like that.

I don't know what, exactly, sprayed onto the heatsink (large aluminum block) like that. Anyway, all these stressed components resulted in the power supply working inefficiently and causing the fan to kick on whenever you demanded processing power from the computer.

I found a replacement among mine and my dad's pile of computer parts. All is well.

Pocket multi-tools actually ARE useful

2010-08-11T12:48:00.001-05:00

I changed the fuel filter on the ZX2 today, using nothing more than this, a Leatherman knockoff using the Columbia name. I did this on my lunch break. It took no longer than it would have with the proper tool(s): about 10 minutes, including hand-washing. All I would've needed was a flathead screwdriver, and my tool has one. Sort of. It did the job, anyway.

On a related note, I've discovered that my skin doesn't really like gasoline. It turns red and blotchy where I come in contact with the stuff.

Pardon the shitty photo. I don't think my cell phone camera focuses at less than a few feet.

Timing Belt Blues

2010-08-04T22:23:00.001-05:00

This was the tensioner spring for the timing belt on Amanda's new car. Look closely at the clip on the right. Scary, huh? That's crazy worn out. It's also stretched beyond spec: the spring coils should be touching each other.

With 90k miles, the timing belt had not yet been replaced on her new 2000 Protege ES*. This is a 100k mile service in California (with inspections every 30k); a 60k mile service everywhere else**. So it was due. In ordering the parts, I neglected to order a new tensioner spring. It's only $3. To get it locally, however, it costs $90, and you can only get it with the two pulleys. Circumstances being what they were, Amanda had to buy the $90 set.

Next time, I will know. And so will you, dear reader who happens to own a Mazda product with this type of spring tensioner, and happens to replace his/her own timing belts, and is expecting to do so soon.

You can get this spring at RockAuto.com. If you work at RockAuto, please send me free stuff. I need to fix a lot of stuff. Come on, what's a Miata steering rack between friends? We are friends, right? Right? ....

______________________________

*Pedantic aside: that's the F-series 1.8L engine, the same family used in forthcoming Proteges; the 1.6L engine was a B-series, related to the Miata and Protege engines of previous years, and also the Ford Escort GT.

**I'm sure this has to do with California laws more than engineering.

Another Two Hundred Thousand

2010-07-22T21:17:00.001-05:00

After nearly 30 thousand miles in her possession, the Escort ZX2 is mine again. I got it back about 150 miles short of 200k. My second drive to work in it gave me the final rollover, the third car I've owned that's hit that ludicrous number -- and the second Escort to do so.

The first was my 1991 Ford Escort Pony, many years ago. Then the Miata. Now this.

I gave Amanda the ZX2 a couple years ago as a xmas gift. I have it back now because she has bought her first car. Quaint, that, since I got my first car about 10 years ago. Expect a guest post soon by her, about her new wheels.

So it's official: the Miata is my pleasure and race car; the ZX2, my daily driver. It's nice to commute in a reasonably quiet car with a compliant ride. It's not so compliant as to be infuriatingly dull -- I have an undying love of Escorts for a reason -- but it's not the torture box that the hard-steering, hard-riding, uninsulated Miata is. I have the added bonus of only having to maintain the Miata for race duty, I don't have to worry about wear from commuting as well; it can be out of service for weeks at a time while I rebuild the engine or order parts.

The down side? I won't have super-buff arms anymore, since I'm now spoiled with one of those amazing modern luxuries: power steering.

What do I do with the Escort now? Neglect washes. Do only the most necessary maintenance. Maybe do a few aero tricks and such to improve fuel economy. Treat it like the beater it has truly become. Eco-mod rat rod, anyone?

What the fuck is wrong with me?

2010-07-17T00:08:00.001-05:00

I took a day off work this week to drive down to Bloomington in a borrowed Chevy 3500 van loaded with garage door repair supplies and tools. I'm thinking the thing got 12 mpg.

It was also about a bazillion degrees outside. I drank about a gallon of Gatorade and was still dehydrated.

I went there to pick up this car. It was free. I was also offered a shitload of extra parts and stuff that I couldn't take because the van was full of the aforementioned garage door parts.

It's a 1988 Mazda 323 GTX. Turbo 1.6L B6 4-cylinder engine making 130-some horsepower. Yeah, the Miata got a version of the B6 that made 120 hp without a turbo. That may be what I put in it if I ever get it running. Oh yeah, and this engine is blowed up.

This thing also has 4-wheel drive with a lockable center differential. The transaxle is not in the car. It's not even currently in my possession. I've been told it's "rebuildable." So who knows.

The owner was getting rid of it for the magical price of zero dollars for all these reasons, combined with the fact that the city told him to GTFO OR BAN. Well, get rid of the car or pay $100+ every day it's not gone. So now I wait for my parents to get the same ultimatum, as it sits in their driveway with a hacked up wiring harness, Vice-Grip pliers for a steering wheel, an engine hanging on by one motor mount, and... whatever. I have no idea.

And as it turns out, it's a BF chassis, not a BG. So who knows if anything will actually bolt up to it. I had planned to swap the drivetrain bits to make an AWD Escort, but now compatibility is suspect. Hopefully I can still use the rear hubs for my eventual mid-engine Escort.

This is a project for later. Picking this up made me realize I already have more projects than I can handle. It was a healthy reality check. I've gotta focus on LeMons.

Sightings!

2010-07-13T21:21:00.005-05:00

This post contains random sightings, in the form of photos taken with my cell phone. Pardon their shitty quality. With that out of the way, BEHOLD!

Super fast cigarettes! They are filled with win!

...if lung cancer is a form of winning (says he who smokes on occasion).

Sweet retro Mello Yello dispenser! If I were a hipster, I'd cream my pants. If I were a scientologist, I'd be retarded. I actually just drink the stuff.

Why does this remind me of the awesomest movie ever? Is it just because it's got a guy whose name is kinda similar to Peter Weller, and John Lithgow, and what seems like a joke title?

Shit, you can get everything at Wal-Mart. Even dildos and/or ass plugs disguised as sidewalk chalk! Are we even talking about cars anymore? Where did this come from?

Ahh, that's better. Wait... what's going on here?

Oh yeah, epic overkill. Welcome to America. And speaking of America...

This is what it was like to be livin' in America after The War. Eric spotted this in the junkyard while we were hunting for Zetec parts. It's a beat to shit DeSoto with plates that were last renewed in '77.

The body was in impressive shape in terms of rust, but the frame was completely rotted. You could tell because while the front of the car was still on the frame, the back half of the body had slid off it.

We would've looked at it more, but there was a wasp nest somewhere in it that we clearly disturbed. Eric held it open long enough for me to snap this, which gives you some idea of the amount of room under that hood with a flathead six cylinder.

But I digress.

Spotted in the driver's seat of a car in a junkyard. Probably in a Contour. An apparently fruitless attempt at saving the car. Oh god, I'm really boring you aren't I? Please don't leave! Here's some eye candy!

Fine, maybe it's shit-flavored candy. If you can taste shit with your eyes. Maybe if you've dropped acid and are getting that sensory confusion thing I learned about in psych class. Sorry. But it's still candy. This is an Audi R8 V10 that I spotted on the highway a month or two back.

Yeah, that's all I've got right now.

Team Resignation

2010-07-08T22:45:00.000-05:00

Updates about the 24 Hours of LeMons car, the 1991 Ford Escort LZX2 (ZLX2?), will now mostly be on the Team Resignation blog. Head over there to see the latest.

Shift turret boot and insulator

2010-07-08T22:43:00.000-05:00

When your shifter insulator boot (the big one) is this badly deteriorated, you can see your Miata's driveshaft if you take out the center console. Heat from the exhaust likes to warm up your drinks and/or electronic devices in the cup holders in the summer; cold air keeps cabin temperatures down in the winter. You also get to enjoy the fine smell of exhaust if you have a leak.

About a week ago, I replaced that and the transmission shift turret boot (the small one) on my lunch break. 4 screws gets the console off, and it's all 10mm bolts from there. A short extension helps.

Getting the insulator off is trivial; removing the small boot from the shifter is a little trickier. It's pretty small, and fits very nicely into a recess on the shifter. I cut it off with wire cutters that are on my little multi-tool.

After filling up the turret with fresh gear oil (it was empty, of course) I spent some time trying to figure out how to get the shifter apart to get the new small boot on. I consulted the interwebz, and found out the shifter doesn't come apart. It's just like sex: lubricate, and slip the shaft in the hole. I'll let you guess which is more satisfying.

Put your 10mm bolts back in, screw the console back on, and go back to work.

On my ride home, I noticed a quieter cab and a distinct lack of Disconcertingly Warm Cell Phone And iPod Syndrome. Which is nice, considering heat probably isn't their best friend, and spending money isn't my most favoritest thing to do.

Speaking of spending money, these were real cheap through Mazdaspeed. About half to one-third the price, if memory serves, of what these go for on Good-Win Racing and elsewhere they're available. In fact, I think those places charge about as much, perhaps even more than dealer retail. Since these aren't aftermarket parts, you're probably better off just getting them at your local Mazda dealer and saving the shipping cost (if you don't have a Mazdaspeed membership, that is).

Good luck, and happy wrenching!

Unrelated

2010-06-27T22:39:00.001-05:00

In the spirit of Eric's recent material, here's a completely off-topic photo I took this weekend. They're pawprints of my parents' dog, Lucy, in the gravel driveway. We think Lucy's a beagle/rottweiler mix, but I know for sure that she makes some photogenic footprints. She's also a friendly, sweet dog, and a whore for attention. I... ahem... love Lucy.

Dudes putting it in the butt

2010-06-21T22:36:00.000-05:00

Amanda insists that my repeated references to PB Blaster are actually veiled references to bhutte secks. They are not.

Glorious free parts!

2010-06-21T21:46:00.001-05:00

This is the engine block and transmission I got for free. I've always been jealous of people with stories of a friend who was throwing out a turbo, or had a coilover kit sitting around collecting rust, or a big block race motor they never used. I also never believed I'd be on the receiving end of such a bargain, but I am once again proven wrong. These were listed in the Rockford Craigslist. The guy apparently had several people express interest in the thing merely so they could scrap it. He held on to it in the hopes of finding someone who could get some use out of it. Enter me.

This drivetrain sat outside, exposed to the elements for a whole winter. Yes, without a cylinder head on it. Surprisingly enough, I think it's salvageable. I had to separate the engine and trans in order to carry the things a hundred yards up a steep hill to my car. It was exhausting, but well worth it. I'm regularly making liberal applications of PB Blaster and/or WD-40 to the cylinders with the hope of breaking them loose eventually. This is a project for late summer, fall, or winter, depending on the progress on my other project(s).

In the plastic bag is a head, sans cams or lifters, that I borrowed from Duncan. Once I get around to actually attempting to rebuild this thing, I may rebuild his head so everything is ready to just drop in when I swap it. I probably won't use the transmission but to take it apart, clean it up, see how it all works, and sell it.

Here's a closeup of the pistons and cylinder bores (shitty picture, I know):

Zetec timing belts

2010-06-20T23:03:00.001-05:00

The Zetec engines in ZX2s are famous for timing belt problems. Well, with the pulleys anyway. (Many sources incorrectly indicate that the Zetec is an interference design, but it is not, and I will cut my timing belt with the engine running to prove it. But that's another issue.)

Amanda's car started making a squealing noise recently. It sounded suspiciously like a slipping belt, but I had just put a new serpentine on there not long ago. I checked the serp belt, removed the belt and checked the pulleys, and decided I'd check out the timing belt while I was there. And I saw this:

If you look closely, you can see a ridge on the left (front) side of the belt. That's where the belt is not riding on one of the idler pulleys. This immediately told me that the squealing noise was coming from the timing belt, and that it was dragging along a pulley with a worn out bearing. I loosened the belt and found the top left idler pulley was fairly close to seizing. I've had this problem before, not long after I got this car. My timing belt snapped -- shredded, I suppose is more accurate -- due to seized and disintegrating pulleys.

So, by my limited experience, I must go ahead and make a maintenance suggestion for any owner of a Ford Escort ZX2: replace those timing belt pulleys every 80 thousand miles or fewer.

I got a new kit, including belt, tensioners, and both idlers (later engines had just one idler in addition to the tensioner) on RockAuto.com for less than $80 plus shipping. The local O'Reilly had it in stock as well, but they wanted a ridiculous $180. Amanda said no. Considering the price of the belt alone at most stores is around fifty bucks, the extra thirty for a set of pulleys is a good deal.

This is how we fail

2010-06-20T22:47:00.003-05:00

This is how Eric fails. Wondering why he can't get the taillight to fit back on properly, he realized that the wires and sockets weren't quite in their proper locations.

To soften the blow, since I have failed in similar ways many times myself, here's a wonderful photo of how, exactly, I fail.

That's the pushbroom I gave my dad for Father's Day.

(This is why "brokkake" is one of my new tags.)

Ah, consequences

2010-06-20T22:36:00.001-05:00

It's usually a good idea to make sure the boots are on and the clamps are properly tightened after you replace certain parts. This in particular is an inner tie rod I replaced sometime last year. The grime and salt and shit that got into the boot caused some surface corrosion on the steering rack as well. I cleaned it up, put a new one on, and put new clamps on the boot. Here's hoping I don't fuck that up again.

New parts, part two

2010-06-16T18:36:00.000-05:00

The second package has arrived, straight from Ontario. It includes such exciting bits as: a spare tire hold down plate and bolt; a cup holder; the plastic "xmas tree" things that hold down the carpet; and the original reason I made this order in the first place, a headlight retractor rod. The only "competition" part in this shipment is an aluminum shifter bushing, which replaces the plastic one. I can't remember why it's an upgrade, but it was cheap. I figured as long as I'm replacing both rubber shift boots (also in the order), I might as well change that.

There's some rubber caps in here whose purpose I can't even begin to fathom. I don't remember what they're for, or why I ordered them. So, if anyone knows what a KA01-51-SD6 is for, let me know. I'm at a loss. The description is "Cap, Hinge."

Oh, nevermind. Found it. It goes between that retractor rod and the headlamp bezel.

These parts are going in today, I hope, shortly after I find out what noises Amanda's car is making and why. I'm pretty excited to have a real cup holder.

Go Brasil!

2010-06-12T11:04:00.003-05:00

A couple of my parts arrived yesterday. The rest should be showing up on Tuesday. Yes, I ordered a tiny little screw. It's for the hinge on the center console. It cost me sixty-three cents.

My country isn't playing today, but I watched the Argentina v. Nigeria game this morning. Sadly, Argentina scored in the first 5 minutes and Nigeria never managed to bring it back. Boo Argentina. Though really, Nigeria wasn't playing very well. They couldn't get a shot on target.

I only have basic cable, so I don't get ESPN3. Which means my only options for watching World Cup games are Univision, which I get in HD, and ESPN.com, which is terrible video quality if you're watching it live. So I tune the TV to Univision HD, hit the mute button, plug the stereo aux input into my laptop and bring up ESPN.com. Bam! I'm in business.

Lookit paw, I'm on the teevee!

2010-06-08T21:38:00.001-05:00

I am famous. I star in the newest motion picture from Studeria Molina*, the film division of Scuderia Molina.

http://vimeo.com/12414367

(also on the blogroll at right)

*I just made this up.

Ghetto fabulous

2010-06-08T19:37:00.001-05:00

I broke an exhaust hanger at an autocross event a few weekends ago. It's entirely possible that it was broken beforehand, but it took the crazy cornering at autocross for the thing to start banging around. It definitely scared me at first, because it just sort of showed up halfway through the day and I was afraid I'd broken suspension, steering or drivetrain parts.

My repair, though not classy, was easy enough. I just removed a heat shield bolt and stuck it through some exhaust strapping. It'll hold until I eventually hack the muffler off and clamp in a Cherry Bomb or something equally high-end.

My dad is a clever bastard.

2010-06-08T19:06:00.002-05:00

As you can see here, the valve cover on our Zetec engine was busted into pieces. One of these pieces fell behind the cams and got itself into an oil return galley. We tried reaching in for it with tweezers, but they couldn't reach and still open enough to grab it. Removing the cams and lifters would have been really annoying and would not have made things any easier, since it was actually buried in the middle of the head casting.

My dad, always with the clever ideas, grabs a small metal rod he has laying around. Then he gets some glue (in this case, a silicone-based general adhesive) and plops a dab on one end. He then puts that end against the chunk of valve cover buried in the head and lets it sit awhile.

About 20 minutes later, I come back and carefully pull the rod up. The adhesive holds, though barely, and I manage to just get it out of the head before the glue lets go and it drops into my hand.

A few more minor repairs and this engine is ready to drop in. The only parts left: swap some pulleys around, find a serpentine belt that's the right size to bypass power steering and A/C, and repair/replace the thermostat housing. I think that's everything, anyway...

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY.

2010-06-08T18:50:00.000-05:00

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DRIVE

YOUR MIATA

IN THE SNOW.

(The header wrap starts to unravel.)

One step above the bleachers

2010-06-08T18:42:00.001-05:00

I picked up a Kirkey Racing aluminum seat with a cover and a neck brace a few weeks ago. This is gonna go on the Team Resignation Escort. I found it on Craigslist. It's a 17-incher, so it's a bit wide for me and all our current drivers. But it was cheap, it was local, and we can always add padding. Besides, we won't have to buy a different seat if a fatter driver joins the team.

Moar winzohrs

2010-06-08T18:35:00.002-05:00

There have been two more events since my last post, and I managed first place in both. The latest event I won my class with a 3 second margin. If I make it to enough Miata Club events this year, I'm pretty confident I'll get a season trophy. Not that it's a big deal, since it's just the Miata Club, but despite what I said in my last post, I won't be running any SCCA events this year. I'm saving that money for repairs, for LeMons, for whatever else might come up.

In other news, I finally got access to the Mazda Motorsports (aka Mazdaspeed) online store, with the fancy competition discount. So now I can buy all sorts of OEM parts below list price. I'm going to start with a bunch of Ye Olde Miscellany* that need fixing up, like the stupid plastic joints in the headlight lift mechanism.

Expect several short posts to follow this one; I have many updates, and I don't have necessarily the time to lay out a big narrative to cover it all at once. Get ready for a major blast.

Yes, I skipped a night of welding class to do this (among many other things).

*Amanda insists that I give her credit for this phrase. Here you go.

Season opener

2010-05-18T21:51:00.001-05:00

My second first-place win!

At my autocross season opener, I managed to win in my class by more than 2 seconds and get 16th overall (out of 90-some entrants). That felt awesome. I was surprised by how fast the car was. I even beat a 'vette and a couple supercharged/turbo Miatas. Hopefully I can still pull those kinds of times at the SCCA events.

Up and comers

2010-05-14T10:05:00.002-05:00

This is going to be a big summer all around. Here's a breakdown of the upcoming projects, obligations and goals.

General/Personal
I'm enrolled in a welding class 2 days a week for the summer term at Kish. It starts at 6, which means I need to be strict about getting to work on time so I can make it to class those evenings. Maybe I'll get a welder for my birthday.

There's plenty of autocross coming up. My goal this year is to attend enough events to at least be eligible to trophy either with the Windy City Miata Club or Chicago Region SCCA. Since there's conflicting days in the schedules of the two clubs, and some events land on days like Father's Day (I already skipped the Mother's Day event to work on the Escort), that could make it difficult. I have to figure out the minimum for each club and mark down which events I have to attend.

I need to order my racing suit, shoes and helmet.

STS Mazda Miata
About a month ago I picked up a 1.6L long nose short block and transmission for free. Yes, free. The block (sans head, hence "short") hadn't been used in about 10 years and braved the elements last winter. I have no idea what shape it's in inside, but the piston tops and cylinder walls are fairly rusty. I'm spraying the release agent of the gods on it regularly free it up.
The plan is to tear this engine down and see if it's rebuildable with a simple hone. This will be my first engine rebuild, so even if this block is fucked, I will practice on it so I know what I'm getting into when I rebuild the engine that's in my car right now. (At 220+k miles, it's burning a quart of oil every 600-800 miles. Symptoms suggest worn rod journal bearings.) My friend Duncan is going to lend me a head so I can complete a rebuild beforehand and swap engines in a weekend; when it's done, I'll give him my old head for his future projects.

If I get the time and/or money, I hope to replace all the suspension bushings with a set of urethane ones and buy some Flyin' Miata frame rail reinforcements. The high-speed shimmy/vibration is driving me nuts, and I think these two things are the solution. I'm sure all my suspension bushings are completely shot.

LeMons Escort ZLX2
That's ZL TIMES TWO, bitches!
Tomorrow, I pick up a used Kirkey economy layback racing seat and a neck brace for the race.
Obviously, the engine swap needs to be completed. The wiring harness needs to be pulled from the ZX2 and installed in the LX. The steering needs to be depowered, the belts rerouted, the thermostat housing replaced. Hopefully all this can be done in time to get it to several autocross events before the actual race.

I need to mount my Miata's autocross wheels and see if it interferes with the rear struts. Reports on TeamZX2 indicate that 205/50-15 tires may rub against the strut when mounted to the stock wheels; aftermarket wheels are usually OK. Possible solutions are: using narrower tires, buying wheel spacers, buying aftermarket wheels, using the 14" wheels with necessarily narrower tires, or denting the strut tube in a bit. All these are real possibilities with their own tradeoffs.

Then, of course, all the nastyness of stripping the interior, having a roll cage fabricated, buying and installing all the necessary safety equipment, finding a 4th person to commit to the team, et cetera et cetera.

******

That's a busy, expensive summer. The Escort has priority; it needs to be done by October. The Miata engine rebuild will more likely be a project for the fall/winter months.

Gotta keep my fingers crossed that Amanda won't kill me.

Unfinished

2010-05-02T22:35:00.000-05:00

I don't exactly have the energy for a full update at this time. I will say a few things though.

Pertaining to my previous post: We managed to luck upon an old machine shop/fabricator man, clearly a guy who had been doing this kind of shit all his life, to bend our shift rod straight for us. Eric guesses this guy to be in his 70s. He set this thing on his 50-ton H-frame manual-pump hydraulic press and fucking eyeballed this thing, pressing it until it was straight. When another guy met up with us and measured how straight it was, he clocked us a total indicated runout (TIR) of .006". Which means this thing was three thousandths of an inch away from being perfectly straight.

And this guy fucking eyeballed this. Really amazing. He was quite the character too, and seeing/listening to him made me feel kind of like I was plopped into a Coen brothers movie.

No, we did not finish the full engine-and-wiring-harness swap. We pulled the drivetrain from the ZX2 and set it up in the garage to get fixed up. Fixed a couple of oil pan punctures, replaced a valve cover and a few other miscellaneous bits.

We got hung up on rebuilding the transmission. Well, not so much the rebuilding as the reassembly. It won't shift correctly without getting locked into gear. So that blows donkey balls. We'll have to figure all that shit out soon.

I'll post more details hen (if) I get the energy for a more complete update. In the mean time, keep an eye over at assonancerood for his breakdown of the project. If you want to see a few more pictures from the weekend, hit up my web album. Some of those pictures were taken by Eric.

Fuck

2010-05-01T21:28:00.001-05:00

Our transmission does not work, and this is why. That shaft? It's supposed to be straight. The tire iron is there for reference.*

We've been working on this heap for about 9 hours. We had just about finished rebuilding the transmission when we discovered that it wouldn't shift into any gear.

So yeah. Goddamn it.

*Please pardon my shitty delivery, and my pointing out the glaringly obvious. We were all very tired at that point in the night.

24 Hours of LeMons: American Irony

2010-04-25T19:17:00.002-05:00

First, let me say that Eric already covered a lot of our trip to this race. Read his recaps. I'll wait.

Done? Let's continue.

The trip was great fun, and the race was excellent to watch. It's gotten me even more excited (and probably unbearable to live with) about competing in this race for crapcans.

This is one of the penalties that are handed out. I can't remember what the chicken is for, but there are a number of different things that the Arc Angel (for that is her name, and yes, she's a she) will weld to your car. This particular sample is a BMW E30 with a roof that is almost completely Bondo. You could smell that shit burning as the Angel welded this chicken on.

Another penalty is the humping bunnies (as seen on one of my favorite cars, the Woodstock ~~Monte Carlo~~ Grand Prix.). I don't know what it's for, but I'd much rather have that than the chicken.

Still another penalty, as seen on this Rabbit/GTI (with the Lebowski Neon in the background) is writing your folly over and over on your car, a la grade school. (finding that link resulted in some porn, FYI)

You get these penalties from doing this kind of thing:

Note the ridiculous lean on that Audi in the first shot.

If your car breaks down, things can get even more exciting. You can turn your Fiero from a raging 4-cylinder into a parts-spewing hunk of iron. Case in point, the Heroic Fix winners who, after a spun connecting rod bearing, pulled two pistons out.

They later pulled out another, turning it into a smoke-belching 625cc one-cylinder before it finally stopped altogether. For these kinds of accomplishments, you can win one of many awesome trophies.

Hand made with love. Welcome to America.

This book is terrible. (a book review)

2010-04-23T21:40:00.001-05:00

I realize the motorsports publishing well might be a little dry of authors, so I can understand if some books by first-time writers aren't very good. Car "enthusiasts" (a polite word for "nerd") may not be the cleverest writers in the world.¹ Take as evidence nearly every article in SportsCar Magazine (basically the SCCA's monthly newsletter, in magazine form), and that Car and Driver, when asking readers for stories to print in their 10Best issue, admitted they rarely received good content and pulled that part of the reader content feature.

But for every interview I've trudged through, every nationals event recap I've skimmed for the few interesting details, every thinly veiled sponsor plug I've dismissed as the cost of business, I never thought I'd get to something quite this awful.

Ross Bentley is a writer who either doesn't understand what "writing to an audience" means, or he thinks he's writing books for 4th grade dropouts who managed to get a driver's licence.

Reading his book, Speed Secrets: Winning Autocross Techniques, is an exercise in repetition. He'll start by telling you something obvious, in broad, almost completely useless terms. Then he'll repeat it, over and over for a page and a half before he says something that truly adds to his point. Then he'll hammer on that for a while. Don't rinse: just repeat.

An example: You're starting Chapter 9, and he just spent the previous chapter covering a few racing lines. This new chapter is titled Priorities, subsection: Prioritizing turns.

"... successful [drivers] know how to prioritize the various turns on a course. Good drivers know where to push hard and where to be patient.
Some corners are more important than others. Winning autocrosses comes from knowing where to go fast and where to go (relatively) slow. .. Concentrate on learning the most important turns first. ... In autocrossing, you will have to compromise one turn's speed for another. ... If you know which corners are most important, you know which ones can be compromised and which ones can't. In terms of your car's setup, there are times when you must compromise the setup to suit one corner more than another. ... It is best to set up the car for the most important corners."

These are lines lifted from 3 consecutive paragraphs. Between the second and third paragraph, in big, bold letters in the middle of the page is a SPEED SECRET. There's a number of these throughout the book, to highlight major points. It's his gimmick. The point of this section, in case you're really a numbskull, is Focus on getting the most important turns right first.

This book does have some good information. It's not completely useless. But it is unreadable, and it's not going to get anyone interested in the sport.

¹ I dispute this idea. Car and Driver (recently, and some years ago), Top Gear (both TV and magazine), and Grassroots Motorsports are proof that there's plenty of good authors out there who are also car guys. Apparently these guys either don't work cheap, or don't write instructional books about racing.

a few minor updates

2010-04-14T21:47:00.003-05:00

My cheaptastic steering wheel wrap was starting to get pretty nasty, so I reapplied with what I had left of a roll. The old stuff peeled off fine and the new stuff looks much better. I was surprised at how quickly this thing got nasty. The part I took off actually looked worse. It was practically black.

Steering wheel athletic wrap: reapply every 6 months or twenty thousand miles. Darker colors may last longer.

In other news, my PCV valve split in half. The hose basically held the top part in place on top of the other half. Never seen that before. I replaced both hose and valve.

In still other news: you may have noticed a thin red line with a dot at the end appearing on the right side (or bottom, for vertical shots) on some of my photos. That's new; it makes me sad and angry, because I like my camera. It's fairly noticeable on the top photo in this post. Look for a red line running up from the bottom, about a quarter of the way from the right side. This is my camera's fault. I don't know what I should do to fix it, if anything, or just deal with it. I can't justify buying a new camera. It would probably cost nearly as much to fix this one, since I'm not skilled in the ways of digital camera voodoo. This will have to be copacetic. I'll pretend it's my watermark.

One hundred and four blaglock

2010-04-07T20:59:00.002-05:00

Not a time or measurement of time.

Sometime last summer, a box of cheap watches showed up at work. It wasn't addressed to anyone in particular. We spread the word trying to find the intended recipient. No one claimed them, so after two months we divvied up the collection among the engineering department. I took this guy.

Let me be clear: These are not expensive watches to begin with. These are what you'd see in the open display case sitting 6 feet away from the jewelry counter, or on the impulse buy rack at the auto store, marked at $3.99, next to the pinky-length tire pressure gauges and fist-sized Zippo-knockoff novelty lighters.

That said, I'd at least expect the watches to do one thing right. Not necessarily be the most accurate timepiece, but at least have an understanding of how telling time is done. And it's not like these are printed on, either, and somebody can just toss a few reams of sticky-backed vinyl prints. Somebody made this cast and popped out a bunch of them before (hopefully eventually) realizing there was a problem.

Haven't figured it out yet? Here's a hint: look at the ring with numbers at 10 minute intervals.

There you have it, folks. A perfect example of how details come back to bite you in the ass.

Running rich, part 972

2010-04-05T23:08:00.002-05:00

My Miata has been running rich. I think it has, anyway. It'll backfire if you poke the throttle after letting it coast at middle-high RPM for a second or two. I can do this on command, anytime after it's warmed up. Often on upshifts, too. Also, the plugs looked pretty sooty last time I checked (and replaced) them. And this soot ends up on the back bumper, too. This all leads me to believe it's running rich.

So I've been trying to figure out why. I've done a lot of things (plugs, plug wires, coolant temp sensor, O2 sensor, tested the coil, cleaned up electrical ground wires, dumped magic cleaner juice in the gas tank many times). This is the latest, and probably the last thing I'll do before sending my injectors out to get rebuilt.

I replaced the air filter installed by the previous owner. It's very obviously an eBay affair, you can find them all over there for around $10 (with another $30 to ship or something stupid). Anyway, it's a chintzy model, and I thought maybe this piece of shit was clogged up. The service manual says a clogged filter is the first thing to check, so I'm glad I did it right away. And by "right away" I mean... well, read the last line in the previous paragraph, my attention-span-challenged readers.

Anyway, I never liked that filter because I could do this:

Also, I could spin that rubber piece in the filter. This is hardly confidence-inspiring in terms of providing a seal against shit. Thankfully, area parts stores sell this kind of chintzy shit. And since a 3" flange is common, I found a direct fit without having to use adapters. It's the Spectre brand they sell at Autozone, in the same place you'll find the DIY intake kits.

It looks a bit better than the dirty blue thing, though very ricey. It also did nothing to help my running rich condition.

GoMiata Stubby Antenna - And Another Thing...

2010-03-30T22:28:00.000-05:00

As though I didn't have enough bad to say about the GoMiata Stubby Antenna the first time I reviewed it, the thing goes and gets even worse on me.

At least then it passed the 30-foot test. But after just one winter of handling road salt, the thing is getting corroded and looks like garbage.

If I get excited later on, I'll clean this thing up and spray on some clearcoat. But it pisses me off, because that's not something I should have to do with an accessory that's only a few months old.

Always with the surprises

2010-03-28T00:17:00.004-05:00

This is what happens when you start prepping a 19-year-old car for racing. You find holes in the floor.

Background, because I feel it is always necessary: (It probably rarely is.)
I tore up the carpet on our racecar on my lunch break. A 14mm socket, a screwdriver, and a bit of really boring lunchtime NPR is all it took. I removed the front seats (socket), popped off the retaining clips for the carpet under the edge of the rear seat (screwdriver), removed the center console (screwdriver), and started yanking that shit around the pieces that were still screwed down. Vehicle carpeting is neither plush nor resilient against tearing. In fact, the pattern of the supporting thread is a lot like vinyl reinforced adhesive tape, so I could tear it into big chunks with my hands.

Never mind how unbelievably filthy that car is (I forgot to photograph the crayons and toy cars, and the smell, while unphotographable, is pervasive). I found two surprises under the carpeting. Rust holes in the floor pan. Right about where the forward roll cage supports will need to go. This is not good news.

Hopefully we can roll the cost of repairing that into the cost of installing the cage. I figure if whoever is building us a cage can't fix that and make it safe, they shouldn't be building us a cage. I guess we'll find out.

On oversimplification

2010-03-17T22:34:00.003-05:00

I have a problem. It's called oversimplification. I have a feeling most car guys get this when they start to think about a project.

Today, for example, I was telling Eric that we should probably go ahead with the drivetrain swap on our Escort (ZX2 into a 2nd-gen LX). He asked me what was involved in the process of pulling an engine and transaxle from the wrecked ZX2. This is how it initially played out in my head:

Bend shit out of the way.
Disconnect hoses.
Disconnect wires.
Remove motor mount nuts.
Lift entire assembly out.
Remove wiring harness.

Sounds easy, right? Well, it is. Sort of. It's the details that get in the way. Each one of those steps can take a lot of time, because they all involve many, many substeps. Also, things like hammering, bending, prying, wiggling, and dealing with rusted fasteners are very big time-eaters and muscle-fatiguers.

The actual process is something more like this (which is what I sent him):

Remove the hood (4 bolts).
Disconnect and remove battery.
Hammer/pry/smash/pull the radiator support out of the way, along with any other bent shit that interferes. This may be the most physically strenuous and improvised portion of this exercise.
Inspect for broken shit.
Disconnect the radiator hoses (2), heater core hoses (2), power steering hoses (2), and any other hoses I can't remember.
Label all electrical connectors with tape and sharpie, on both sides of the connection.
Disconnect all electrical connectors, and unbolt any ground wires to the engine.
Disconnect positive starter wire.
Pull out axles.
Attach engine hoist to engine.
Remove the nuts or bolts on each of the 4 motor mounts (max. 2 each).
Slowly lift the engine and transmission out of the car, watching for any remaining connections.
Roll the engine hoist (with drivetrain) into the garage.
Disassemble car interior to locate the entirety of its wiring harness.
Remove wiring harness, engine computer, CCRM (a control module), and instrument cluster.

Not quite as simple, right? It suddenly went from, "Yeah, we can do this" to: "... that's pretty intense." And I'm still leaving out quite a bit (especially in terms of the interior). Once this is done, we do it again to the other car. Then we swap sway bars and steering racks, overhaul a transmission, and then reinstall one of the drivetrains. Two removals, one installation.

Nobody ever said racing was easy. Or cheap. But at least it'll be fun.

Behold, failure!

2010-03-10T22:20:00.000-06:00

Last Saturday, my friend Brad came over to help finish the brakes on El Shitbox. Since the caliper mounting bolt was seized in place, I asked him to bust out the Sawzall and cut the fucker in half.

Then, when the caliper still wouldn't come off, I realized the caliper mounts to a bracket, which is removable. Two 14-mm bolts later, and the caliper-and-bracket assembly is off.

But then the caliper wouldn't come off the bracket, which is necessary to mount the new caliper. So I asked Brad to bust out his MAPP gas torch. He's a plumber.

We proceeded to heat, wiggle, and hammer that thing to separate the caliper from the slide/guide bolt on the bracket. At which point, this happened:

Which is about when I realized I had a complete new bracket sitting upstairs. So I grabbed that, grabbed the new caliper, and put that shit together.

Steps necessary to complete job:
1. Remove caliper and bracket assembly.
2. Install new caliper bracket.
3. Install new caliper.

Actual steps taken:
1. Cut caliper.
2. Remove caliper and bracket assembly.
3. Lubricate, wiggle, torch, and hammer caliper guide bolt until something breaks.
4. Install new caliper bracket.
5. Install new caliper.

I am a genius.

Meet the new style...

2010-03-08T21:57:00.000-06:00

...definitely not the same as the cliche reference to The Who.

Photo credit goes to my co-conspirator in crap car crime, though with my (mostly obvious) touches. The color/style is from a Blogspot template, with some tweaking.

Stay tuned for more stupid steerable shitbox stuff! And annoying amounts of asinine alliteration! Aaaaaa!

VERY DIRTY!!!

2010-03-05T18:57:00.002-06:00

I've done a lot of heavy wrenching in my black Carhartt coat over the years, in various locations and with varying degrees of cleanliness and success. I've had it since late in my high school years, and I don't think I've ever cleaned it. After these last couple weekends under two very rusty cars, one of which was out on a gravel-and-snow driveway, and getting covered in even more dirt, rust, grime, and brake fluid, I decided it needed a thorough cleaning.

A professional cleaning. So I had Amanda take it in when she was getting a zipper fixed on her coat. Amanda said they told her, "I think we'll need an extra day on this one" when she dropped it off. You can see above the note they put after the coat.

Very dirty indeed, with three exclamation points.

Well, it was true. I wish I had a photo of it in its full filthy glory. All I have is of it clean, and they did an amazing job. Green Acre Cleaners is a pretty excellent place.

I haven't seen the coat this black practically since I bought it, though there are plenty of worn spots in the denim by now. After all, high school ended 8 years ago; this thing is probably about the same age as my old Caterpillar boots. Anyway, I'm happy it's clean now, though the season for this heavy a coat is practically over. It's fresh and ready for next year, and it no longer smells like earth and grease and sweat. It's ready for another 10+ years of service.

Well, maybe not quite that many.

Brake bleeder screws are my nightmare

2010-02-27T13:19:00.000-06:00

This was supposed to be an easy, therapeutic round of car repairs. Little to no rust to contend with; I'm working on my once-a-Texas-car Miata.

I finished an oil change, installed the front subframe brace from 949Racing, and went on to the brakes. Bled the front right caliper properly, with the help of my sister Cindy. Figured I'd do the front left, as long as I had the car up in the air already.

So I grab my 8mm wrench, start to turn the bleed screw, and I get an all-too-familiar feeling. It's not moving. I push it a little harder. I can feel it starting to give, but in that way you know isn't the threads breaking loose -- it's either the bleeder itself twisting, or the hex flats giving way. I put down the 12-point box-end wrench and look for a 6-point socket. After some hunting, I find a shallow well 6-pointer that'll give me the clearance I need, and I go at it again. It feels no better. "Fuck it. If it breaks, I bleed nothing. At least it won't leak, and I'll get another caliper."

Sure enough, the bleed screw snaps off. So I'm leaving it, and moving on to the rears.

The count is now up to four calipers with busted bleeders (across two cars) in two weekends. Goddamn it.

Another 9-hour round of cussin' and knuckle-bustin'

2010-02-24T23:18:00.001-06:00

(Amanda tells me we're both stubby nerds. It might be true.)

Ah, the fruits of our labor! At least, the first 3-hour stint. These Saturday projects seem to be forming a pattern. The pattern is: We start taking things apart. A few things break, but in general progress is good. We move on to the donor car, and maybe run into a few more snags, but again, we're not deterred. We take a break, then continue, everything goes to shit, and what we thought would take maybe another two hours ends up taking six. At the end of the night the car is back together, but perhaps barely drivable. Usually the final problem has to do with brakes.

I have a problem, as Eric points out, of misunderestimating the scope, difficulty, and time involved in car-related projects (click the link to Eric's blog; you will not be disappointed). The goal last weekend was to drop the rear subframe from both cars, and bolt the donor (ZX2) subframe onto the racer (LX, subframe pictured above). Not only was my grasp of the simplicity of this project on two cars that combined are about 31 years old vastly incorrect, we made some excellent discoveries on the way.

This is how awesome one of our rear strut towers is. You don't have to be a trained anything to know that if your car looks like it has syphilitic diarrhea leprosy, that's probably a bad thing. Notice the burns on the seat! Of course, the problem is not isolated to the passenger side.

There's your driver-side strut tower. My dad's repair idea involves not welding, but having someone cut a thick steel plate (with proper holes in it) to place between the strut hat and the tower, to spread the load to outside the rusted area. It would increase ride height by however thick it is, but that's probably not a very big deal -- assuming the tech/safety inspectors don't give us a hard time over it. I worry, often needlessly.

These old Escorts had a propensity for breaking rear springs. This example is no exception.

Into three pieces. Notice also the strut hat for that side (which fell on the floor).

Practically disintegrated, and virtually useless at this point. Where's the rest of it? Here:

(Note the emergency brake cable, which has lost a battle with Captain Hacksaw.)

Good thing we're swapping the entire rear subframe from the ZX2, for its springs, struts and disk brakes. I'd like to say the donor is less rusty. And it is. In parts. Notably the strut hat.

Unfortunately, the brakes again became a problem. Not only are the lines horrifically rusted from the master cylinder all the way back to the wheels, but the bleeder screws on those rear calipers snapped clean off instead of loosening properly. We replaced one caliper with a spare I had sitting around (don't ask), but the other side wouldn't come off.

We rounded off the mounting bolt, which means we have four options:

Option 1: Get a whole new spindle to mount the caliper on. I don't want to get into how much of a pain in the ass (and expensive) this is.

Options 2, 3, and 4 condensed into one: Take either (2) a Sawzall, (3) a sledgehammer, or (4) a torch and cut/smash/melt the thing into two pieces and slide the caliper off. Then we can forcibly remove the mounting bolt with a drill, and use one of my many spare mounting bolts to attach the replacement caliper.

Obviously, we're going with one of the three latter options. Right now we've got one rear caliper that's been bled (poorly) and one that has nothing but air in it. The pedal goes to the floor every time, and requires several pumps before any kind of slowing down happens. And even then, it happens poorly.

I got a pair of used Miata calipers, which will bolt on but also feature a 32mm piston diameter (versus the Escort GT-sourced rears' 30mm). This should give us a bit more rearward brake bias, which will likely help get better, more even braking on race day. Evener braking means evener betterer lap times. I'm sure the brake proportioning is originally set up very conservative, so it's unlikely we're treading dangerous territory here.

Those calipers will go on in a few weeks. This weekend, rent is due, and I'm also spending time with my baby. I mean the Miata. Don't kill me, Amanda. I still love you too.

More details and photos to come, eventually. Stay tuned here and at assonancerood.blogspot.com for all your hot Escort-on-Escort action.

(Want a few more detail photos from that day? Click here.)

GoMiata Stubby Antenna

2010-02-23T16:00:00.003-06:00

One of my Xmas gifts was this, a universal short chrome antenna from GoMiata. It's VERY short. I'm talking less than 6 inches. It's pretty classy looking, I suppose, but I have a few beefs with it.

Number one is radio reception. It's garbage. Complete garbage. It loses radio stations that are 15 miles away. Compare this to the almost 40-mile range of the bent wire hanger I had in its place for the better part of a year. That's right, it's worse than a wire hanger.

I'm lucky that there's a machine shop where I work, and the guy who runs it is friendly and helpful. He drilled and tapped a hole in the center of the antenna, and screwed in a nut with a thin chrome-plated rod sticking out of it. It's about 3 times as long now, and reception is back to wire hanger levels. I'm happy now, but someone who doesn't have these resources will be very disappointed at the reception unless they live in the middle of a big city.

Another issue is how it looks when it mounts. Click the photo above and you'll see what I mean. There's all that black plastic and metal all hanging out and exposed, it's part of the original antenna mount. It doesn't cover any of this up, it doesn't exactly sit flush, and as a result it looks half-assed. Or, more aptly, it looks universal. Which it is.

And finally, for a poorly fitting universal antenna that gets shitty reception, it's expensive. It's just a small hunk of chrome and some threaded adapters for different antenna posts. I'm keeping it because it's better than a wire hanger, and it passes the 30-foot test. But as a good looking and functional detail piece, it fails miserably.

Update: This thing just keeps getting worse.

Weekend racecar prep Number 1

2010-02-22T22:00:00.001-06:00

These are my 10-year-old Caterpillar boots. They've seen a lot of abuse, including a weekend photographing an NIU ROTC trip for the Northern Star (which, since its redesign, is one "Under Construction" GIF away from 1997), among other less taxing camping trips, junkyard treks and work excursions. This pair finally bit the dust on Saturday the 13th, and I promptly replaced them with another pair. Hopefully these will last another 10 years.

The job that did it was swapping suspensions on the new Ford Escort diarrhea bucket of an automobile. That's right, I officially have an unofficial LeMons/ChumpCar racer! It'll be a 2nd-gen Escort LX/3rd gen ZX2 Franken'Scort. (Theme and actual car/team name TBD.)

Eric, my only willing co-conspirator and co-money pit feeder at this time wrote up a good bit of detail on it. It's worth every second of your time to read, because he is a hilarious and insane man. This most recent Saturday, we (almost) completed that job by doing the rear suspension. Details on that are coming, as soon as I get my photos back from my dad's camera.

Can it be? Spell it with me!

2010-01-28T13:49:00.002-06:00

I officially saw the Oscar Mayer weinermobile in the most boring place ever. It was in traffic merging onto the I-90 West tollway while I was commuting home from work. Covered with snow, salt, and salty snow-water.

Like seeing your favorite actress, supermodel, or musician taking a dump, it brings this magical meat machine down to the same level as the rest of us mortal machines. The majesty is gone.

l33t license plate

2010-01-25T15:41:00.002-06:00

Spotted this near the intersection of Genoa Road and U.S. Route 20 in Rockford, IL.

Shot on my cell phone.

Snow tires rule

2010-01-16T14:58:00.027-06:00

Picked up a set of American Racing alloy wheels with Bridgestone Blizzak MZ-02 snow tires last weekend. They're used, but damned near new. Price? $100. That's right.

The Blizzak WS-50 set on steelies are now on Amanda's Escort. She definitely doesn't push the limits ever, but she noticed a significant difference between her all-season BFGoodrich Traction T/As and the Blizzaks in the snow.

Simply, studless snow tires rule. Whichever brand you get will be a million times better than any all-season tire you could drive in. I'm sure you've heard about the crazy winter weather in the midwest lately. As you can see, I've blasted through that white shit without any problem.

(I know the weather has been nicer this week, but these things are really unbeatable.)

(Yes, my neighbor keeps his crotch rocket parked outside all the time, uncovered. It's in a car port, so that counts for something. He rarely rides it though, and the rear tire has a bad leak. Unless he's just taken it out, it's always flat.)

Windblocker with Hard Dog roll bar

2010-01-09T14:25:00.002-06:00

A few months ago I bought a Raceland "Windblokker" brand windblocker. The name's kind of silly, but it fits and it works. It's also stupid cheap.

But as I mentioned before, it did have one small problem: while it's made to tilt down, it's blocked from tilting by the rear supports of my Hard Dog Hard Bar Sport roll bar. With the convertible top up, it rendered the parcel shelf all but useless.

A few nights ago I got bored and decided to see if I could remedy the situation. I took a trip to Farm & Fleet and picked up a shelf repair bracket, a couple bolts and nuts, and 4 washers. The solution is so simple it almost assembles itself. It's nice to be able to use the shelf again.

The Weak are Killed and Eaten

2009-12-20T16:07:00.003-06:00

Special thanks to my friend Greg, who gave me this shirt for Xmas. I am determined to wear it to every single racing event I attend this year. Yes, it'll look to my autocross friends as though I'm a filthy, unwashed philistine. Or at least like I have no other clothes, because I spend all my money on racing. Which isn't far from the truth.

To be imprecise, I spent more than $650 on parts for my Miata on the 2 weeks following Thanksgiving. A mere 3 days after I replaced my broken differential with a fancy-schmancy viscous limited slip one ($220), the clutch failed. I took a day off of work and my dad and I replaced the thing along with the rear main seal. I also found out that the oil pan gasket in the area just below the rear main seal was leaking, and had been improperly repaired before with Permatex gasket maker spread over the area of the leak. Once I found out that dropping the oil pan for a proper repair involved basically removing the entire engine, I opted simply to clean off the old stuff and reapply. It's actually working. ($200, including various chemicals and supplies)

After this, I put on my snow tires (with heavier 14" steel wheels) and am reminded of the scary vibration at higher speeds. Specifically, at 70+ mph. I had previously tried to chase down this problem only to get tired of spending money after balancing all the wheels, replacing a wheel bearing, and replacing an axle. I knew the vibration was coming from the rear right corner, but I couldn't figure out what component had failed until the day I was doing the clutch. I wiggled that rear wheel, and there was play at the top/bottom, but not left/right. And I could see the axle move with the play, whereas the upright was staying still. This could only mean that the bore for the wheel bearing was distorted. I ordered a new one. ($80)

The following week begins, and my car needs a jump to start at any temperature below 40 degrees. I replace the battery. ($100) Starting improves, but its still very slow to crank and not exactly confidence-inspiring. I replace the starter, fearing sub-zero jump starts. ($60) Starting is solid.

My dad had picked up a new clutch slave cylinder for me sometime during all this, because while replacing the clutch, we noticed the boot on the slave was destroyed. My brother, Brian, helped me install the clutch slave on the same day as the starter. ($50, but my dad paid for it)

My family had Xmas early this year, on the 19th. My dad got me a pair of subframe braces from 949Racing. After the festivities were over, he and I went out to the garage, replaced that rear-right suspension upright (also called a hub assembly) and installed the rear brace. I'll find out for sure once I hit the interstate if the vibration is gone.

That's been the big maintenance lately. Posts coming soon regarding a brake job on the ZX2, my new not-made-of-a-wire-hanger-and-duct-tape radio antenna, and my brother's car crash. Don't worry, he's OK. The car is definitely not.

For a few more photos and details on the differential and clutch job, click the picture below.

diff and clutch

Broken differential

2009-11-29T21:16:00.002-06:00

The pinion gear on my differential broke on Thanksgiving Day, about 2 miles from my parents' house. It made a god-awful noise. I slowly drove it the rest of the way home, and with my dad's help, dropped the thing and put in a viscous limited slip unit to replace my open diff.

I'll have more details later, but I'm pretty exhausted and have no pictures to show right now. Suffice it to say that Blake is my savior.